The New Girl
by Poppets16
Summary: A new Consultant arrives and her energy and love of life make an impression on Mr. Hanssen. Where he holds back, she is brave enough to let him know how she feels.
1. Chapter 1

The music pounded in the headphones. Running along to the beat, hair bouncing up and down, she was quite clearly on a mission. The running focused her, made her able to get all the worry out of her system with every beat. Today this was especially important and necessary since it was the first day of a new job. She started singing along to the song that blasted out from the headphones. 'Hey, I heard you like the wild ones…' when suddenly, and without warning, she was in front of the car with her hands on the bonnet of the Volvo before she knew what was happening. The loud screech that sent the car into a sudden stop, avoided her being a patient on her first day, rather than a consultant, and she sheepishly waved and mouthed a 'sorry' to the dark haired driver before carrying on her way, her heart beating so hard she could feel it outside her body.

Having composed herself, taken a shower and changed into her professional attire, she knew where she had to go. Se had even rehearsed her first line to him, so skilled was she at flattering people she knew she had to impress and get on side. She practiced her best smile, checked for food stuck in her teeth and then knocked on the door, to hear a curt, 'Come in' from behind the door. Her first thought as she caught sight of him was that he was taller than she had pictured. The headshot of him and googled pictures didn't reflect his height. Firmly taking and shaking her hand, he shot her a quizzical look like he recognized her, and just as the realization hit her that he was the dark haired man in the car from earlier, she managed to pull herself together to deliver her well-rehearsed line…'Mr. Hanssen, you look even more handsome in the flesh.' The comment had the desired effect and Mr. Hanssen seemed to forget the flash of whatever recognition had been fleeting through his mind and responded with an ever dry, 'Well thank you Dr. Adams. It's a pleasure, I'm sure.'

Having had a very successful conversation with her new colleague, she was smiling as she toured the ward. She was sure she had set in motion the favorable impression she wanted Mr. Hanssen to have of her and everything she had said and done had achieved that target. Now, as she strode purposefully along Keller ward, she took everything in. The doctor with the American accent gave her a very approving look, and then a severe looking girl with long auburn hair sneered at her. She was not fazed at all though. Having researched her new work place thoroughly including asking colleagues about her new home, she had the lowdown on everyone in her new workplace.

After the initial few weeks, everything was going to plan, except for one small matter. Having worked with and watched Mr. Hanssen in action she had discovered that she had no need any more for the false appreciation for him she had planned on showing. Over the past few weeks she had seen him risk his career to stick up for his patients and what he believed to be a flawed system. She had seen his intense concentration as he operated in a way she had only seen in a very small number of highly skilled surgeons before him. She sensed something behind his ice-cold manner. It was like she could see him in a way that no one else could. She realized that she genuinely admired him, and she was getting the impression that he felt the same way about her. She had a lot of skills that Mr. Hanssen didn't, one of which being her ability to charm almost anyone in her circle. It was to that end that Mr. Hanssen one day coolly asked her to join him on a conference in Sweden. He was to speak at it, but also there was the opportunity to charm some wealthy business people into purchasing medical items at auction and donating them to the hospital. Intensely flattered because she knew he must recognize her abilities in order to invite her, she also felt a strange sensation of excitement on another level, and it wasn't to do with her professional abilities. It was to do with having this extraordinary man all to herself outwith the confines of the hospital. In no uncertain terms, Hanssen informed her to pack her professional attire, as well as formal evening gown for the ball that would take place. As he told her this, she thought she observed a crooked smirk on his otherwise dignified and reserved face, but she didn't dare to indulge herself in the thought that he would be pleased to see her dressed up in such a way.

The way it worked out, Hanssen flew out to Stockholm first as she had to finish a very important operation. She was more disappointed than she cared to admit about this, but the satisfaction of showing the American and the scowling redhead how to perform surgery made up for that somewhat. And she knew what she had to look forward to, so that made the whole situation bearable.

The flight went quickly and as she exited the plane, she searched the crowd for her name and from there to the car. She daydreamed while admitting the beautiful Swedish scenery making a mental note that she'd have to come back one day and properly explore. The anticipation and excitement was building on the way, leading to a strange sensation in her stomach and before she knew it the car had pulled up outside the hotel. After checking in and getting to her room, she figured it was time to call and let him know she was here. Dialing the number he picked up almost immediately. 'Dr Adams, pleasant flight I hope. I heard the surgery was a triumph. Well done. Be outside the conference hall in fifteen minutes. Be prompt please.' As she hung up she smiled to herself and realized that she had come to regard his brusque manner as sweet, and for some reason her stomach knotted up as he spoke.

She changed into her smartest suit that also accentuated her curves. She was ready for the full charm offensive. She left the room excited to see Hanssen and hoping that she had an effect on him. As she stepped out of the door and into the elevator she could feel the nerves in her stomach ratchet up a notch. As she approached the conference room she spotted him. He turned around and she could see he was wearing her favorite suit, waistcoat and red tie. She took a moment to take him in and enjoy the fact that she was here with him. 'Miss Adams, Glad to finally have you here. Shall we?'

The afternoon was a triumph. She swept the room; charming, flirting, smiling and making everyone love her. By the end of the auction she had managed to secure the purchase of a very expensive Davinci machine for Holby thanks to a very appreciative gentleman. As they proceeded to the elevator to go and get ready for the nights events, the gentleman was still waving and smiling as the elevator door closed. Hanssen turned to her and said, 'Seems like you have an admirer Dr Adams.' 'Oh, he is not my type at all. I prefer someone tall, dark, handsome, intelligent and a bit quirky. Know anyone like that?' As she was talking his eyebrows raised and he turned to face her. 'Not anyone I can think of Dr Adams.' Her heart sank, although if she'd have been honest with herself it was the answer she expected. She replied, with a sarcastic, 'Well if you think of anyone let me know…' The doors opened and as they left Hanssen reminded her to be ready for 7pm, formal attire.

She spent the next hour getting ready. She knew that this evening was every bit as important as the afternoon. She looked at herself in the mirror. She was wearing her most flattering blue satin strapless dress, her hair pulled up into a side ponytail with curls and her favorite make up. Satisfied that she looked good enough to impress the wealthy businessmen, but also to impress Hanssen, she nervously walked to the conference room. He was there already, forever punctual to a fault, and in his dinner suit. If she even doubted what she was feeling for him then at that point it made itself perfectly clear to her as she involuntarily gasped slightly as she saw him. She thought she saw his eyes widen as he took her in but by the time he was in close proximity to her he had adopted his usual cool, composed manner. 'Shall we?' was all he said as they both proceeded into the room to find their table. To her horror they discovered that the lecherous man who had donated the machine was at their table. She knew it was going to be a difficult few hours faking being nice to him. She was glad to have Hanssen at her side, but she knew that he had to go make a speech at some point and hoped that it wasn't going to be a long one.

The dinner went well, and conversation was flowing at the table along with the champagne. The more he drank, the more he started at her, lust in his eyes. She was starting to feel a little sick, and there was still the speech and after dinner dancing to endure. As if on cue while this was running through her head, the master of ceremonies called for Mr. Hanssen. He smiled at her and left the table. Mr. Lecherous moved to sit beside her. She hoped he would be quiet and let her hear Hanssen's speech because she did love to listen to his dulcet tones and impressive words. Luckily, she did hear him talk and his impassioned speech left her feeling proud. She watched him walk all the way back to their table and was secretly delighted when he politely but with full control made the lecherous one move back to his own seat and took his place beside her once again. 'Do you dance Mr. Hanssen?' she asked. 'Not if I can avoid it Ms. Adams.'

The music started up and of course, Mr. Lecherous was right there asking her to dance. It was a waltz and she knew that he was going to have his hands all over her but she couldn't say no. As they danced, she kept glancing over to Hanssen, hoping that he was keeping an eye on her. Mr. Lecherous kept moving his hand down lower and lower, and leaning his head in too close to her. She was starting to get more desperate and uncomfortable, but when she turned round to shot a panicked look to Hanssen he was gone. Thought were racing through her head as to how she could possibly escape when she heard a familiar voice say 'I'd like to cut in please if you don't mind.' Polite as ever, but his tone indicated that this was an order, and not a request. He staggered out of her arms, looking annoyed. 'Thank you so much for rescuing me, especially since I know you try not to dance.' 'You are more than welcome Ms Adams. I couldn't bear to watch that any more. He was quite out of order.' As it turned out he was an exquisite dancer and she felt at home in his arms being spun around and around. The music ended, even though she wished it would go on and on, and Hanssen indicated that he thought they had done quite enough to help Holby that night and did she want to leave. She felt chilled as his hands dropped from her sides, but she knew she had no reason now to keep contact with him. They headed for the elevator for the second time that day, and as they stepped out on the floor their rooms occupied, she felt a sinking feeling in her stomach that her time with this man was almost over and that reality was biting at her heels. They stood there rather awkwardly, until Hanssen took her hand and kissed the back of it gently, before wishing her goodnight. As he turned to walk away, the desperation not to become distant from him made her feel sick, and she knew she wouldn't forgive herself if she let the night end this way. 'Wait!' she shouted. He stopped in his tracks and slowly turned around. 'I want to ask you a question and you don't have to answer but I'd love it if you do because I really need to know.' He raised his eyebrows and looked somewhat amused by her. 'You are a true gentleman and I see that in everything you do, but if you weren't such a gentleman, would you have kissed me tonight?' She blurted it out and then to her it sounded so ridiculous she bushed a little and bit her lip, almost wishing she hadn't said it. He took a deep breath and looked at her, as if carefully thinking about how he should answer. She couldn't help but become transfixed by his eyes, which were sparkling in the dimly lit hallway. 'Why yes Dr Adams, I believe I would have.'

They stood there, not moving, just staring at one another. She was in shock that he answered, let alone what the answer was. Her heart started pounding and her whole body felt electrified. She didn't hesitate one more moment. She ran towards him, grabbing his hand and pulling him toward the staircase. 'Just follow me Hanssen.' She said. Stopping at the stairs she climbed up two more than him, given how tall he was it was the only was she would be level with him. 'You may be the perfect gentleman Henrik, but life is too short not to do things you really want to do in this life.' She let his hand drop and reached up to gently remove his glasses. She hoped she wasn't making a huge mistake, and her heart was beating far too fast, but she was committed to it now, especially after what he had said. She leaned in slowly, and as gently as she could, she touched her lips to his before moving back to scan his reaction. Since he certainly wasn't objecting, she leaned in again and this time he responded. She sighed against the kiss as it electrified her entire body. She thought to herself how nothing had ever felt this right. She felt his hand come up to touch her waist, his other hand on her cheek. The depth of feeling she was experiencing belied how gentle a kiss it was. She felt it everywhere, the most intense feeling and more than she ever imagined I, making her sigh and breath heavily. She was so lost in the kiss and the feelings it was giving her that she didn't care that it must have been very obvious how much she was enjoying it. She pulled back slowly, whispering 'I've wanted to do that all day.' 'Well, I hope it was worth the wait Dr Adams.' She glanced at him and he had a wicked smile on his face. 'I think you could tell that it was,' she replied. 'I should really go now because if I don't I'm going to do something very inappropriate, and I do know that you are a gentleman so I know I'm not going to push my luck too far tonight.' 'As you wish Miss Adams.' She turned her back to him and asked him to unhook the clip at the top of her dress. Suddenly she felt a gentle kiss placed on her neck and she shivered and sighed against it, raised her hand to caress his head as he did it. She spun around and took his hand, walking with him back to the corridor with the rooms. They walked half way between the rooms and he wished her a good night one more time, before leaning down to kiss her forehead. 'If you like I could meet you in the lobby tomorrow early and show you some of my home country before we fly back. Would that be of interest to you?' "I'd love that, thank you,' and as they slowly let go of each other hands and Hanssen turned to walk away, she called after him, 'Oh and sweet dreams Henrik.' 'Oh I am sure I'm going to have some extraordinary dreams tonight Ms. Adams.' She smiled and walked to her room, glancing round to look at him once or twice until he was out of sight. She had no idea how she was going to get to sleep that night between how electrified she felt right now, or the excitement of the promise of the next day.


	2. Chapter 2

She closed the door of her room behind her and collapsed against the door breathing out the air she hadn't even realized she'd been holding in. The adrenalin and endorphins were coursing through her veins still and she knew she was so wired that she wouldn't sleep for a while. She went to the mini bar and poured herself a glass of wine, drinking it in the one go, trying to regain her composure. She couldn't help but replay the night in her head over and over, trying to remember every small feeling, and recreating the kiss in her head. She really wasn't ready for the night to end or to let him go, but realistically she knew he'd admitted more and given more of himself than he was usually comfortable with and she'd have been pushing her luck and risking rejection to ask for any more from him. She wondered how strong his feelings for her were, or if it was just being in such a different situation in his homeland that made him comfortable enough to kiss her as he did. That kiss… As she thought about it again her stomach tightened up so hard that she grabbed it and held it. She tried to remember the last time she had felt like a lovesick teenager, and couldn't remember. She smiled at the thought.

After a second glass of wine she was feeling more relaxed. She glanced at the clock. She gasped as she realized it was 1am already and she had to be up at 7am to pack and get ready for her day with him. She shivered with joy as she thought of having him all to herself showing her his home country. Changing into her nightwear, she climbed into bed and guiltily smoothed her hand over the empty side wishing it was him instead of the smooth, cool sheets. At that thought the day finally caught up with her and she fell asleep, still subconsciously running her hand up and down the empty side of the bed.

The loud song on her phone startled her and she sat bolt upright, momentarily confused as to where she was and why she wasn't in her own bed. As soon as she remembered, a smile spread across her face and the excitement came back with a vengeance. She threw the sheets aside, leapt out of bed, and after waiting on the water in the shower to turn as hot as she liked it, she jumped in and gloried in the feeling of the cleansing water pouring over her as she sang along to the song playing on her phone. 'Hey I heard you like the Wild Ones.' She smiled as she remembered what had happened last time she was singing along to that song. Jumping out of the shower, she went through 3 outfits before finding something she thought would be warm, but also made the best of her figure. She packed up the rest of her things, and finished her hair and make up. As she stepped out of her hotel room pulling her case behind her, she glanced behind her before letting the door close gently. Knowing that he was on the same floor, she looked around just in case he was there, but there was no sign of him. She went ahead and pressed the elevator button, and as she stepped inside, she noticed that the butterflies in her stomach were back, and her thoughts were racing as to how he would be with her this morning after last night.

The doors of the elevator opened and the first thing she observed was that the lobby was busy and full of people checking out from the conference and checking in for a holiday. As she scanned the room looking for him, she caught sight of Mr. Lecherous and as quickly as she could, she made a beeline for a nearby oversized fake plant and hid behind it. 'Hiding from me are we Dr. Adams?' She was so shocked at the familiar voice so close behind her that she physically jumped before swiveling round to face him. She felt her face flush, and like a schoolgirl in front of the headmaster, she began explaining herself, tripping over each word until she saw his eyebrows raise and the corners of his mouth turn up in amusement, and she stopped, realising she'd been had and that he was amused at her display. 'Good Morning Mr. Hanssen,' she whispered, now not sure what other course of action to take. 'Oh, I think you should call me Henrik, given that we're about to spend the day together. Is that alright with you, Nicole?' At the sound of her name rolling off his tongue, she felt like she had melted a little, and she couldn't respond right away. 'Sure,' was all she could manage, before he responded with a 'Wonderful, shall we?' He gestured to the revolving door of the hotel, and after delivering their cases to the hotel valet to be looked after, they walked side by side out of the hotel and into the fresh Swedish air.


	3. Chapter 3

As soon as they exited the hotel, Hanssen opened the door of the waiting cab and waved her in. Climbing in after her, he said something to the driver in Swedish and she glanced at him as he spoke. She found it profoundly attractive when he spoke in Swedish and she was trying to work out why this was. She decided that it was because it was another mark of how intelligent he was, which she loved and admired, and also that it was just plain sexy to hear the words that made absolutely no sense to her rolling off his tongue with such ease. She could listen to his speak in Swedish all day she thought. After giving the driver the directions, he turned to her and smiled. 'Where are you taking me Mr. Hanssen?' She asked, smirking at the double entendre the question suggested. She should have known though that he was not taken aback by much and, without missing a beat, he replied, 'I hope you're ready for the whistle-stop, cultural tour of Stockholm. There's lots to see and learn. If you don't mind, I'd like each place to be a surprise until we get there.' He looked very pleased with himself and she thought he was reveling in his role as guide, filled with knowledge to impart , not so different to his role at Holby, but yet his demeanor was so much more relaxed and happy and that made her happy too.

Finally, the taxi pulled up at their destination and Henrik settled up with the driver, and said, 'Tack så mycket.' She opened her door to get out and before she knew it he was there, offering her his hand to help her out of the cab. A shiver rippled through her at the contact with him, the first time of the day that she wondered how or if she was going to get as close to him as she was the previous night. Curiosity took over and she looked at the building they had pulled up to. 'The Vasa Museum,' he said as if he had read her mind. They went inside through the revolving doors, Henrik letting her go first as always, and once inside she noticed his eyes lit up and he began regaling her with the history of the museum. She vaguely heard dates in the 1600's being mentioned, a King, and an ill-fated journey, but to be honest she was more transfixed by him. He looked like an excited little boy who had been given a train set for Christmas. His enthusiasm and the way his eyes lit up as he spoke made her heart hurt for him. It was so attractive to just watch him, take in his beautiful face and it was impossible not to get caught up in his enthusiasm. 'You haven't said much Miss Adams…Nicole. Is this not your kind of thing?' 'Oh, no, I mean yes, it really is. I was just enjoying listening to you, that's all. I'm enjoying taking it all in…' She smiled again because what she meant by 'taking it all in' and what he interpreted it to be were going to be two different things, she knew. 'Ah, good, well then we should move on to the next place I want to show you. Shall we?' 'Of course.' As they exited the front of the building and into the next waiting cab she was already plotting how she could make sure she could remind him how she felt about him, and vice versa…


	4. Chapter 4

**To all, I wrestled with this because I was thinking I might post the first two paragraphs, but that was SUPER short, so I went ahead and wrote more and I hope it is progressing ok. I am enjoying having Hanssen all to myself in Stockholm that is for sure! Disclaimer- I do not own the rights to anything to do with Holby City. I'm just borrowing Hanssen. I'll put him back once I'm finished with him.** :-)

As the taxi pulled away, she decided she was going to make a concerted effort to flirt with him and hopefully end up with some kind of physical contact that she was missing so much. She had worked out that a combination of his excitement at showing her his city and his reserved manner meant that he wasn't going to be taking any leads at this point, but she was quite happy to take the lead for him. After a short journey, they pulled up to their next destination. This time, when he ran around to open the door, she placed her hand in his and once she was out of the car, she didn't let go. It felt so right the feeling of his hand in hers. They wandered into what looked like a beautiful garden complete with pillars, statues, fountains and flowers. It looked like heaven. 'Welcome to Millesgarden,' he whispered. She got the impression that this place meant more to him than he was going to admit to her. They strolled through the pillar-lined path, Henrik occasionally stopping to point out a flower or a statue high up above them atop one of the pillars. She gazed up at him, drinking in every moment, knowing this day would end much faster than she wanted it to. 'Henrik,' she interrupted him mid sentence, and then didn't even know what she was going to say. Henrik didn't reply, he simply stopped mid sentence, fixed his sparkling eyes to hers and raised his eyebrows. She grasped his hand tighter and went to speak but nothing came out. Seeming to sense what she wanted to say, he bent down and pressed his lip to hers, tipping her chin up towards him with his free hand. She leaned into the kiss, sighing as the feeling of him spiraled though her and seemed to make her feel more alive than she had ever felt before. Pure joy ran through every single pore in her body. She felt safe like nothing on Earth could hurt her while she was in his arms. As the kiss ended, she leaned into him and let him wrap his arms around her. They continued to walk wrapped around each other. 'Did you have a question for me, perhaps about the plants or history of the gardens?' Ever sharp, he was gently mocking her. She playfully pushed him away, feigning fake offence, making her most alluring petted lip at him. 'Oh Miss Adams, you don't think that's going to work on me, do you now? I have a reputation to uphold.' He smiled as he said it, and at that she laughed and gave up the pretence. 'Tell me, are you ready for some lunch? I know a charming place we could eat, but if you'd rather we can just move on to the last place I want to show you?' She lifted her arm to look at the time and couldn't believe that it was 12pm already. He silently cursed. She knew the day would go fast, but this fast was just not fair. 'Lunch would be perfect, thank you and I'd love to the place since you have somewhere in mind. You're spoiling me, Henrik. I'm having the best day ever…' At that he smiled a shy smile and walked towards the exit of the gardens.

The journey this time in the third cab they'd taken that day was so much more relaxed now that they had almost gotten back the level of intimacy of the previous evening. She felt able to finally take advantage of them being in such close proximity. She leaned against him, holding his hand in hers on her lap and watched out of his window as he gave a running commentary on what they were passing by. She loved listening to his velvety, authoritative voice. 'Ah, we're almost there,' he said. Pulling up outside a brick fronted building, he settled the cab fare, and helped her out and into the restaurant. Simple and understated, with sleek wooden floors and brown leather chairs, the restaurant was stunning. Henrik obviously knew the maitre D as they shook hands and exchanged words in Swedish that even she could deduce were greetings by people who knew each other well but hadn't seen each other for some time.

They were escorted to what looked like the best table in the place. It was located in a private, secluded corner and the table was circular with a leather sofa style seat, meaning they could sit right next to each other. As they sat, she realized there was music playing. It was understated and mellow and then she recognized it as **Sigur Rós. **She couldn't help the thought that passed through her head about what she'd always wanted to do while that music was playing, and then she caught Henrik's eye and blushed, leading him to look at her quizzically. She was saved by the waitress, who turned up smiling and with menus in hand. The front was a wine color leather binding with '**Restaurang Kryp In **_Prastgatan 17, Stockholm' _embossed in gold. She opened the menu only to find everything was printed in Swedish. She looked up to find Hanssen smirking at her in a mischievous way. He had got her again. 'Please allow me to order for you if you don't mind. I know the best things on the menu.' She wasn't going to argue, so when the waitress came back she just reveled in listening to him speaking in his mother tongue. Before long a bottle of what looked like expensive red wine and two glasses appeared on the table. Henrik poured for both of them and then they had some time to themselves before whatever he had ordered appeared. They clinked their glasses together, Hanssen saying 'Skål.' They both took a sip, placed their glasses down and smiled at each other. This felt so right to her, being here with him. As she sat there and took him in, she gloried in his beautiful face and dark hair. She had to mentally resist the urge to climb over to him and start kissing him because she was sure that she way she wanted to kiss him would surely not be appropriate for a high class restaurant such as this, so she did resist but only with the hope she would kiss him like this at some point. Soon.


	5. Chapter 5

**Short and sweet...hope it's ok...**

After a few more gulps of wine, she felt the alcohol start to go to her head, the light buzz you get from having a drink before eating. She found it pleasant, and it made her feel a little more brave, resulting in her confession to him how much she loves it when he speaks in Swedish. He laughed at this, and it was such a pleasure for her to see him let his guard down. He hardly ever smiled at the hospital, let alone laughed. 'It's so nice to see you so happy Henrik,' she said. He opened his mouth to reply, when they were suddenly presented with plates full of delicious looking food. She hung on waiting for what he was going to say, but it was as if the moment had been snatched from them, and the subject was altered.

She looked down at the plate and at what looked like steak with an assortment of accompanying vegetables and potatoes. 'What did you order for us Henrik?' she asked. 'Just eat please. I'll tell you after if you haven't worked it out.' His tone was almost as serious as the one he uses at work. It was no-nonsense with the only response being compliance. Taking a bite, she decided that it was indeed delicious. Her best guess was that it was steak and as she told him this, having nearly cleared her plate, a wry smile spread across his face. That face meant trouble she knew, and in her best pleading voice she asked him to tell her what she had eaten. 'I'm not sure how you're going to take this, but you have just been enjoying the culinary delights of reindeer. Tastes better than steak actually, I find.' Still with the smile on his face, he watched as her face fell into a look of shock and horror. 'Oh my God. You just made me eat Rudolph! They actually have your reputation spot on at work, don't they? You're a reindeer killer!' 'Now, now, Miss Adams, I didn't actually kill the beast, I just ate it. You might want me to get the manager here and you can tell him that. I'll translate, of course…' His eyes were doing that beautiful twinkling thing again. That happened she noticed every time he did something mischievous, which was actually quite often. She was discovering that he had a wicked sense of humour and it was making her fall in love with him just a little bit more than she already was. 'I'll get you back for that you know,' she said in a serious tone, but trying to suppress a laugh. 'You can try, but I doubt very much if you'll manage it,' he said. 'Would you care for dessert, or shall we move on to our next stop? It's completely up to you.' She had another wicked thought run through her head about how she really did want dessert, but not anything from the menu. 'I think we'll go. Rudolph was delicious, but I really want to see as many beautiful sights as Sweden can offer me…' He raised his eyebrows at that, and said, 'Very good, as you wish,' asked for the bill, and after he had paid, they left and made their way to the next place Hanssen had planned for them.


	6. Chapter 6

'Just a warning Miss Adams, when you see the next place don't be disappointed. It isn't much to look at, but I'm not taking you there to see the building itself.' Resting her head against his chest, she couldn't have cared less what the next place looked like. She was too busy wishing this day would never end, and already wondering what was going to happen when they were back in the real world. She didn't answer him, instead she just placed her right hand on his chest and sighed deeply. 'Are you quite alright there? Not bored I hope,' he asked. 'Not at all. Just content.' She smiled up at him and was happy to see he was smiling also.

'Are you ready?' he asked. As she stepped out the car, she could see a tall building, and he had been right, it wasn't in the least appealing to look at, especially in light of all the other beautiful sights she had seen that day. It was grey and made of concrete, but it stretched quite high up and she craned her neck to see the top. 'Kaknastornet-It's the view from the top that makes it quite special. The vista of Stockholm and beyond is nothing short of stunning I think you'll find.' She turned to look at him as he spoke, and he had his eyebrows raised. He looked hopeful, as if he didn't want her to be disappointed. She was surprised he didn't realize that nothing could have disappointed her that day and that it was being with him that made this day the best in as long a time as she could remember.

They stepped inside the elevator and it rose quickly and stopped with a gentle but palpable bump. She stepped out first to find a restaurant and at the far end she could see people leaning up against the vast glass windows that allowed them to see the beautiful view. The sun was just beginning to set, making the sky a stunning combination of pink, yellow and orange. They made their way slowly towards the windows. 'Henrik, it's breathtaking,' she whispered. He was smiling at her and she wondered if he'd planned to be here right at this time because she knew it would still have been beautiful earlier in the day, but not as breathtaking or, dare she think it, romantic. He placed his hands on her shoulders and crouched so that his face was next to hers. With his right hand he pointed out landmarks and places that he knew while telling her all about them. The close proximity of him and his breath as he spoke so close to her ear and neck sent shivers down her spine and made it difficult to concentrate on what he was saying. 'I'll be testing you on this later, Miss Adams,' he said, smirking. She turned around to face him. 'What happens if I fail, Mr. Hanssen? You may have to tutor me so I can pass next time, although something tells me I might not be able to concentrate so well with you tutoring me.' 'I just can't think why that would be, Nicole,' he smiled as he spoke and she knew that he understood what she meant.

'If you would like, we have time to go up one more floor. There's an outside viewing area to observe from.' Her heart sank at the thought of there being limited time left. She felt guilty for even thinking that though since this whole day had been beyond her wildest dreams, and so had the response to her question the previous night from the man whose fierce intelligence she admired and his brusque manner that she knew belied the gentle, caring side of him. His dislike of showing his feelings very often she knew had to be caused by something, and she was determined to get to the bottom of it, but the night before he had given more of himself to her than she had dared to hope for, and she felt privileged that he trusted her and cared for her enough to do so. She vaguely heard her name being called and realised that she had been daydreaming while thinking her thoughts about him. He had been trying to get her attention to make the climb up to the next viewing point. She apologized and they made their way upstairs.

By the time they got up there the sun had gone to be replaced with the twinkling lights of Stockholm. 'Its very pretty isn't it?' he asked her. 'It's glorious Henrik,' she replied. She reached around behind her to where he was standing, found his hands and lifted them so that they were wrapped around her. She held them there and leaned back into him, enjoying the warmth of him in the now brisk post sunset air. 'I wish we didn't have to go back. I could stay here forever.' She whispered, her breath appearing in the air in front of her. 'Yes, but whatever would they do without us at Holby. It'd go to ruin I'm sure.' She turned around to face him, not saying anything for a moment rather just staring at him, taking in his fine sharp features, dark hair, smart woolen overcoat, and his glasses, which she loved so much for reasons she couldn't define. 'Mr. Hanssen, it's so beautiful here, and we have to go back after this. I really think it would be remiss of you not take advantage of the opportunity to kiss me once more before we leave.' She figured that being brave had served her well before, so it was worth the risk once more, and she was missing the close contact with him along with panicking that all would be changed once they were back at work.

She looked up at him hopefully, and after a pause of a few seconds that felt like a lifetime, he let his hands drop from around her waist and took one hand to gently tip her chin up. She stood up on her tiptoes to meet him halfway, as he bent down and slowly touched his lips to hers. There was a momentary break as he pulled away and she sighed deeply and happily, before once more meeting his lips with hers. At first gentle, her need for him meant that the urgency of the kiss became more and she grasped the lapels of his stylish winter woolen coat and pulled herself even closer to him. The world for her slipped away, not important, as the only thing existing was this beautiful man and her. His hand came up to cup her face, and the kiss broke but their faces remained together, as they breathed heavily, trying to regain their composure. 'I hate to say this Miss Adams, but it's time.' Taking hands in an effortless way, they reluctantly made their way out of the television tower back to the hotel for their bags, and then on to the airport and home.


	7. Chapter 7

**To all the readers and reviewers, thank you so much. I am loving writing this and I hope it doesn't let you all down! Just a disclaimer that I do not own anything to do with Holby. I'm just borrowing the characters. I'll write more soon!**

'Nice to see you managed to drag your sorry butt back from Sweden Dr. Adams.' The harsh voice dragged her back from her daydream and into reality. 'I hope you're ready for some 'real' work.' At that, Jac Naylor stormed off purposefully. She sighed and tried to focus on the pile of case files in front of her, but it was hard not thinking about and reliving every moment of her unexpected sojourn in Stockholm. She smiled as she thought about the journey home. He had upgraded them to first class, and the conversation between them on the flight home flowed easily and before she knew it they were landing. With no cases to wait for, as the short trip only required hand luggage, there was an awkward moment where she announced that she would go flag down a taxi to take her home, but her tall and charming companion told her how he had parked his car at the airport and he'd be more than happy to drive her home. She was secretly delighted about this except for the part where her stomach was turning over with nerves at the thought of whether to invite him on or not, her mind playing over images of the night's events if he did stay. When he suddenly asked her for directions, she had to shake herself out of her thoughts and was secretly embarrassed at where her thoughts were, especially since he was sitting right next to her as she played them out in her mind.

As he pulled up outside her house, ever the gentleman, he got out and lifted her case out of his car for her. He helped her out and she summoned up the courage to ask him if he wanted to come in for a coffee before he went home. After the words were out of her mouth, she took a deep breath and held it, waiting for his reply and hoping she hadn't upset him. She cringed as she remembered how she had qualified her offer by stating that it was just for coffee, nothing else, and how he had smiled his wry, crooked smile and his eyes lit up as he used it as an other opportunity to make her squirm by stating 'not even a biscuit?' As it was, he pointed out to her that since they had a very early start the next day at the hospital, he had better get home but maybe next time. Her stomach churned with excitement as she remembered those words and what they implied. There would actually be a next time where he was driving her home. She hoped so.

The main reason though, that she sat daydreaming with Jac Naylor shouting at her, was that she couldn't stop thinking about how before jumping in his black Volvo and driving off, he ran the back of his hand along her right cheek, took his thumb and ran it along her lips, before tipping her chin up and bending down, kissing her so gently that when he pulled back from her she stood, frozen and unable to move or speak. 'Goodnight, Nicole, and thank you.' And at that, he kissed her forehead, climbed into his car and left.

After a sleepless night, here she was, back at Holby. She loved her work, and reveled in it, and so as much as she was glad to back doing what she was good at, she was nervous about seeing him, knowing that he would have to be back to his Holby persona, especially since no-one else knew their situation. Jolting herself to life, she picked up the first folder, and went to see her first patient of the day, trying to put everything else out of her mind.


	8. Chapter 8

'What have we here then Dr. Adams?' The familiar velvety voice that she knew so well made her jump a little, then smile, and as she turned around he was there, ever smart in his suit. He took the chart from out of her hand and read it as she stood there, momentarily speechless. After a few seconds he looked up at her, with raised eyebrows as if to say 'well?' 'Umm, well, this is David Michaels. He's never been in hospital before until recently, but his wife brought him in as he was suffering a nosebleed that wouldn't stop. He also has a cough, chest pain, shortness of breath and unusual weight loss. He was in A&E a few weeks ago and they checked for heart attack, but he was cleared and released.' 'Very good. Mr. Michaels, please don't worry. We'll get to the bottom of this. You have my word.' She watched him, touched at how he reassured the patient, and thinking to herself that despite the hard exterior he presented at work she knew that he truly cared for his patients, and his staff for the matter. She caught herself wondering why more people couldn't or wouldn't see this side of him. His voice snapped her out of her thoughts. 'Dr. Adams, suggestions?" 'I think we should go ahead and get FBC's, U's, E's and an LFT, and take it from there.' He nodded, and they walked away from their patient towards the nurse's desk, where Ms. Naylor was sitting, sorting papers, but making sure she kept half an eye on everyone else, including Mr. Hanssen. As they reached the nurses station he suddenly stopped. 'Oh and Dr. Adams, I need a word with you. My office, ten minutes. Don't be late.' With that, he strode off, his long legs taking purposeful strides. 'Uh-oh, been a naughty girl have we Dr. Adams? Sounds like Count Dracula there means business.' Dr. Naylor shot her a nasty smile.' 'Naughty, I wish.' She retorted and laughed as she saw Dr. Naylor's confused face. She strode off with a smile but those familiar butterflies appeared in her stomach at the thought of meeting him on his own. She briefly wondered if she was in trouble, but hoped that the reason was for altogether more pleasant reasons.

'Come in please.' She remembered him saying that on her first day and she smiled as she thought back to that day and how she didn't know him at all except for what Google threw at her. She thought about how she was determined to get him on side by being charming and at that point she had no idea she would end up genuinely admiring, respecting and falling for him. She opened the door and made her way over to stand in front of his desk. He didn't look up at first. He had his gaze firmly fixed on his laptop. Her guess was he was finishing an email. "Just a moment,' he said. She felt conspicuous standing there like a naughty schoolgirl and she didn't know what to do with her hands, finally settling them clasped behind her back. She watched him, that intense concentration and focus was one of the things she found so attractive about him. He clicked the mouse, she presumed sending the email and he turned to look at her. 'Sir Frasier seems to think I'm his pen pal these days,' he said, a pained expression passing over his face. 'Anyway, how is your day going Dr. Adams? Recovered sufficiently from the trip away?' 'Well, apart from the fact I wish I was still there, then yes, thank you.' She was still nervous and wondering why she was there. 'Well, I have something for you. I'm not sure what you'll think, but I want to offer anyway.' He opened a drawer in his desk and took out a long white envelope and handed it to her. Opening it carefully, she saw there was what looked like tickets inside and so she slid them out carefully and read what they said. 'Richard Wagner- Der Fliegende Hollander- Royal Swedish Opera.' She glanced back up at him to find him hands clasped on his desk, looking hopefully at her. 'Well, I'd love to, but isn't this concert in Sweden?' she asked him. 'That it is. I knew you wouldn't want to go. It's most likely not your thing anyway. I do apologize.' She felt for him for she could see he was regretting asking her, probably expecting her to reject his offer and he looked so uncomfortable her heart went out to him. 'Hold on, I didn't even answer yet! It's entirely true to say that I certainly don't go to see operas too often, but I'd love to go see it with you, on one condition.' She could see his face light up as she spoke, and she felt a surge of love for him. 'Certainly. What would that be Dr Adams?' he said softly, smiling. 'If I go to something out of my comfort zone, then I think the least you could do is reciprocate. Maybe you could escort me to a movie or a concert perhaps.' She threw in the concert as a joke, knowing there was no way he would stand in amongst lots of people, waiting for some rock band or other to come on, but she was playing with him, getting him back for some of the times he had got her with his cleverness. She smiled as she watched his face fall and his eyebrows nit together in a frown, calculating how to respond. She tried her best to keep her face straight. 'Well, I think there's some room for discussion there, but yes, of course I'll reciprocate. Please give me some advance warning though so I can ready myself won't you?' At that, she burst out laughing at which he looked hurt and through the laughter she told him she was joking about the concert, but it would be nice to do something a bit more down to earth than opera next time.

Before she left to go back to work, extremely happy at the thought of being with him again, she remembered about how the concert was in Stockholm. 'Henrik, just one thing-how do we get to Stockholm and back in one night?' 'We don't Dr Adams. I looked up a flight that gets us there in time for the concert, and the return flight is the next day and we'll be back just in time to get straight back to work.' The realisation dawned on her that they would be staying overnight in Stockholm, and as her mind raced with possibilities, she opened her mouth to ask him all the questions she had when suddenly the door burst open and Dr. Naylor raced in. She didn't stop to exchange formalities, but shouted, 'Mr. Hanssen, you're needed urgently in theater.'


	9. Chapter 9

**OK, so sorry for the delay and this is short, but I wanted to get something up here. Next one will be longer. Thanks again for the reviews. They make my day and I love that you are reading this and enjoying it! I am loving playing with these characters and I just hope I keep doing them justice. Hanssen deserves a little happiness!**

Just as she arrived back on the ward, Chantelle gracefully handed her an envelope, along with one of her standard mega watt smiles. 'Mr. Michaels results there for you Dr Adams. I've been looking after him for you, poor guy.' 'Thanks Chantelle,' she said as she ripped open the envelope and pulled out the numerous papers filled with valuable information. Studying them carefully, she tried to make the connection between the results and what they meant for the patient. Suddenly, an idea hit her, and she rushed to find a medical journal, to double check her idea before running it past Hanssen. Pulling the heavy journal from the shelf, she flipped it open towards the back, searching for the 'w' pages. She stopped when she found 'Wegener's granulomatosis' and quickly read through the description mouthing the words to herself as she read. When she was certain she had read enough to be sure, she thumped the book closed and slid it back on the shelf. She was desperate to run her diagnosis by him, so she made her way purposefully to find out if he was out of the surgery he'd been called into. Unfortunately for her, she reached Jac Naylor before she got too far. 'Looking for something Adams?' she asked. Jac really was in a foul mood, almost spitting blood she thought. She kept a happy smile on her face and decided that ignoring the venom in her voice was the best policy. 'Hanssen. Do you happen to know if he's out of surgery yet?' 'No. He isn't. And you know, you never did spill as to why you were in his office earlier. Although it looked quite cosy to me…' Jac fixed her with a sour sarcastic look, waiting for her response. 'Wouldn't you like to know Miss Naylor,' she said in her sweetest voice, knowing it would annoy her least favourite colleague. She stepped around Jac and continued on her search.

Tempering her enthusiasm she decided the only course of action at this point was to wait and keep busy. She continued on with her rounds, and finally she heard that the patient Hanssen had been operating on was in recovery. Running up to his office, she didn't even bother knocking, but barged straight in. He had removed his scrubs and apart from looking tired, was back to his smart self. 'Miss Adams, to what do I owe the unexpected pleasure. It must be urgent if you couldn't take the time to knock.' Not bothering to consider whether he was being serious or not, she burst into her diagnosis, justifying it to him with the results and what she had read. After not taking a breath for a good few moments she stopped and looked at him hopefully, hoping he would validate her thoughts. One of her strengths was her gut reaction in complicated cases, and she hoped her gut hadn't let her down on this occasion; at least not in front of Hanssen, who she wanted to impress so much. 'Well, Miss Adams, we have been busy. On balance, I think it's worth a shot. Let's start him on some steroids and see how he does.' Beaming, she spun around ready to bounce out of the room when suddenly he called her name. She stopped and turned on her heel, still grinning from ear to ear. 'Well Done, Dr Adams.' They were simple words, but his face said it all. He was smiling one of his sly smiles that only reached the corner of his mouth, and his eyes were lighting up as he looked at her. He was proud of her, and his face shone with admiration and her stomach flipped at the realization. She wanted nothing more than to run over to him and throw her arms around him and not let go, but the doctor in her took over, so she bit her lower lip, smiled and whispered, 'thank you,' before turning round and leaving his office. On her way back to the ward, she thought to herself she didn't think she could be any happier, and then she remembered she still had the opera.


	10. Chapter 10

The next two days at the hospital were so busy that she barely had time to eat and to her disappointment she hadn't seen Hanssen either. She figured that he was probably busy with CEO stuff. That side of things had never much interested her and she didn't envy him having to answer to the big bosses like Sir Frasier. If she'd had time perhaps she'd have tried to make an excuse to stop by his office just to see him, but as it was she was buried in work. Jac had been a bit nicer ever since she made the diagnosis of the relatively rare Wegner's. She figured it had gained her some respect in Jac's world, and it was a relief not to have to think of witty comebacks for her. She was beginning to realize that Jac's bark was worse than her bite, and once you had proved yourself to her, she backed off a bit. However, she knew that any status she had with Jac could change in a heartbeat.

Finally, after an agonizingly long eighteen-hour shift she was ready to go home, and she went to the locker room to gather her stuff. Lifting her mobile, she looked down to check it only to find a message flashing up from her calendar to let her know that the next night at 8pm was the opera in Sweden. Maybe he had changed his mind she thought since he hadn't been in touch to tell her any more about it. A pang of disappointment slammed her in the stomach and it felt like a horse had kicked her at close range. Packing up her stuff, she walked out of the locker room and through the front doors of the hospital into the night air, which was so cold she could see her breath in it. She swung her bag over her shoulder after retrieving her car key out of it, and pulled her woolen coat tighter around her and made her way to her car.

As she got close to her beloved Audi A4, she could see a tall figure standing right next to it, and she immediately knew who it was. A surge of excitement ran through her and she felt like a child on Christmas morning. Walking slowly towards him, she casually thought to herself that she didn't know how much longer her poor stomach could take the ups and downs it was experiencing recently. It was so intense and something she hadn't felt in such a long time. Having devoted herself to her career she didn't have time to allow herself to feel like this about anyone, and even now, it wasn't planned but somehow she couldn't resist him, and so here she was feeling like she was sixteen again. She stopped when she was right in front of him, smiling widely at him. 'Good Evening Miss Adams,' he said, his voice firm and steady, as ever. 'Hi stranger,' she replied, blushing and silently cursing at how he made her regress from a confident professional to a bumbling mess. 'Ah, yes, I have been rather in absentia I'm afraid. The powers that be have been keeping me very busy, but we won't talk about that now. Are you quite ready for tomorrow?' He raised his eyebrows and clasped his hands behind his back, patiently waiting for her to reply. 'I'm very much looking forward to it Mr. Hanssen. Shall I meet you at the airport?' She looked up at him as she answered and enjoyed taking him in, having genuinely missed seeing his face the last two days. 'I'll pick you up if that suits you. Be ready for five please.' He let himself smile at her and her heart swelled with love for him. 'Of course,' was all she could say and then she realized she was going to have to go home alone and seeing him made that difficult because when she was with him all she wanted was more of him. Suddenly she became very aware of where they were. She wanted more than anything to lean into him, wrap her arms around him and feel the closeness of him next to her, but they were in the car park at work and neither of them needed any extra hassle of colleagues knowing and judging them. As if he read her mind he leaned down towards her and whispered, 'Tomorrow is ours Miss Adams. I'm looking forward to it.' And with that, he lifted her hand, kissed the back of it before turning and striding away to his Volvo. She stood for a moment, regaining her composure before climbing in her own car and heading for home.


	11. Chapter 11

Reclining in the bubble bath, she dipped her had underneath the water just so her ears were submerged. It was amazing how peaceful it was when all sounds were shut off, just the water surrounding her. She was relaxed and happy but excited all at the same time. The long run earlier had released some of the nervous energy, and now she was going to take her time getting ready for him arriving. She couldn't really believe her luck at being invited back to Sweden so soon, and she was so happy that he had kept his season pass to the Swedish Opera that he never used, because now she was lucky enough to get to go with him. Deciding that she had been soaking long enough, she climbed out and wrapped her dressing gown around her. Walking up to her closet, she opened the door and started to flick through the clothes, trying to decide what to wear on the flight when suddenly she jumped as her doorbell rang. Sighing, she walked to the door ready to shoo away whoever it was. She was halfway into 'I don't need anything…' when she swung the door open to find it was Hanssen standing there, not the neighbouring child she thought it was who appeared periodically to try to sell her cookies. She stopped mid-sentence in shock, then she realized that she was at the door in front of him in a dressing gown and her hair sopping wet. 'Hanssen. I wasn't expecting you yet.' 'So I can see Miss Adams. I am early though. I do apologize. I'll leave and come back when you're ready.' He turned and went to walk to his car which was parked next to hers in her driveway. Her stomach sinking at the thought of him leaving, she called after him, and shouted, ' No, please stay. I won't be long if you don't mind waiting on me in the living room. There's coffee if you like.' 'Ah, but are there biscuits Miss Adams?' She laughed out loud as she remembered the last time she had invited him in and told him she was only offering coffee and no more. 'Anything for you,' she replied as he smiled and walked past her into her home.

She closed the door behind her and swung around to find him still standing, hands clasped around his back, his eyes flitting around the room as he took in the pictures on the walls. She stood for a moment taking in the sight of him here in her house and she smiled, enjoying the scene, thinking how right it looked, and then he turned to face her. There was a momentary silence where they just looked at one another before she found the words to say, 'Sit, please. Make yourself comfortable. Can I get you anything?' She blushed as she again became acutely aware of the fact that she was in front of him in nothing other than her dressing gown. 'No, thank you. I'll just wait here. We'll get going as soon as you're ready.' She smiled then quickly exited into her bedroom, now in a panic as to what to wear and trying to do everything as fast as she could knowing her was there waiting. Lifting countless items of clothing off of the rail she threw them aside, stopping when she saw her skinny black jeans, and gold sparkly tank top she always wore with them. She pulled on her favorite black patent peep toe high heels, and rushed to dry her hair and put on make up. When she was all but done, she took a glance into her floor length mirror, assessing whether she was happy enough to present herself to him. There was no doubt in her mind that she was dressing to try to impress him, just like she did at the conference.

Grabbing her pull along case, she made her way into the room where he sat, legs crossed, hands clasped, deep in thought while staring out the window. 'All ready to go if you are…' she said, and at that he jumped up from her sofa and turned to look at her. He momentarily said nothing but rather just stared at her before finally saying, 'Very well, we'll be on our way then. I hope you've eaten today Nicole, because by the time we arrive in Stockholm, I'm afraid we'll only have time to briefly leave our cases at the hotel and then leave for the opera. I've booked us somewhere for dinner afterwards if that suits.' As they made their way towards his car, she replied, 'Of course. I'm looking forward to every minute of it.' Hanssen took her case and put it in the boot of the Volvo before opening her door and closing it after her.

She basked in the fact that she was once again so close to him as she sat beside him in the car, stealing glances at him as he drove. She didn't know whether to ask him about work, and so instead she quizzed him about opera. As he passionately spoke about one of his favorite subjects, she couldn't resist admiring the way in which he spoke, the way his eyes lit up, and the fact that he was still the noble man she knew from work, but so much more relaxed. Her stomach still fluttered with the excitement of the day ahead and the promise that came with it. Before she knew it, engrossed in her thoughts, they were parking at the airport.

As it turns out there was only enough time to check in before heading straight for the gate. It wasn't long after that they were called for boarding and once again, he had upgraded them. 'Henrik! You didn't have to do this!' she exclaimed as they found their seats. 'Oh, but I did, Miss Adams.' He shot her a smile that went straight to her heart and as they settled down into their seats, slipping into easy conversation, her mind kept drifting to night ahead and she hoped that the easy manner she was witnessing in him stayed and that he was ready to let down his guard and give something of his emotional self to her, because she needed him to more than ever.

After a swift taxi journey to the hotel, she was eager to get changed. She had brought a dress not quite as formal as the one she had worn to the ball, but that she hoped was appropriate for the opera. Since she hadn't ever gone before, she wasn't sure what the proper etiquette. She was worrying about this and only half listening to him talk. He was checking in for them, and speaking in Swedish. Suddenly, she thought to herself that since she didn't have a clue what he was saying, she had no idea whether he had booked them one room or two. Her stomach flipped and her mind raced as she thought about it, and she had no idea how she could ask him without sounding far too forward. The only option was to wait. He would have to tell her at some point. Finally thanking the man behind the desk, that much she could work out, he turned and nodded his head in the direction of a corridor ahead. 'This way.' Still unaware of the arrangements, she sheepishly followed him, saying nothing for fear of embarrassing herself. The elevator climbed and stopped on the 4th floor, the button he had pressed, and he held the elevator to let her step out first. 'To the left,' he said, and they walked along together, stopping after a half dozen doors had passed. 'I took the liberty of booking two rooms Miss Adams. I hope that's quite alright with you. It seems we're opposite one another. Handy indeed.' 'Yes, indeed. Handy,' she squeaked. 'Well, we better get a move on. We'll have to leave in half an hour to make it on time. You did bring something formal, didn't you?' 'Yes, of course. You can let me know if it's suitable in half an hour.' At that she smiled and opened her door, pulling her case in behind her. She took a deep breath once the door had closed. She didn't know how she felt since the nervous energy from wondering what was going to happen had gone completely and she didn't know whether she more disappointed or just relieved that she finally knew. Deep inside, she really knew that there was no way he would have been that presumptuous, but she hoped that it wouldn't be awkward later. Realizing she didn't have time to dwell on it any longer, she quickly unzipped her case, and took out the knee length black dress and slipped it on. It was elegant with layers of taffeta on the bottom and extremely fitted at the top, accentuating her shape, but not too revealing. Happy with her choice, she quickly grabbed the clutch that matched, and fixed her hair and make up before making her way back out to meet him.

When she stepped out into the corridor outside her room, he wasn't there. She hesitated for a moment, wondering whether to knock his door, go back inside her room, or just stand there in the corridor until he emerged, but as it happened, she didn't have a chance to do either. The door to his room opened, and he stepped out. 'Ah, you're ready. I hope you haven't been there long…' His voice trailed off and he stood staring at her. She blushed as realized he was taking her in. At that moment she wished she could just steal him away and have him all to herself. 'Will I do?' she finally managed to say. She smiled her most seductive smile up at him and he shook himself back to life and managed to reply, 'Perfect, Miss Adams, you look perfect.' She shuddered and it reached all the way down her spine. She thought to herself she had never felt such a need in her before for anyone, and she wanted to kiss him more than she ever had before. She lent forward and took his hands in hers, lifted them to her lips and kissed them one by one. She looked up at him and he was smiling at her. She felt a surge of pride at the thought of escorting him to the opera and being by his side as people saw them. He was hers and she was shocked to realize that made her feel happier than she ever had before.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hi all. Thanks again for all the amazing comments. This story is making me very happy and to know that others are enjoying it is just indescribable! I hope that I have done this chapter justice! Just a reminder that I do not own anything to do with Holby City, I am just borrowing some characters! SO excited for January 8th!**

They made their way out of the revolving door at the entrance of the hotel and into the night air. It had become dark in the short time they had been inside the hotel. The smartly dressed doorman opened the door of the waiting taxi for them, and they climbed in, Henrik announcing in Swedish the destination to the cab driver. The driver sped off, throwing her back in her seat and luckily giving her a valid reason to grab his hand. 'Do they all drive like this in Sweden then?' she asked him, smiling. 'Not sure I trust these Swedish people.' She looked up at him trying for a coy innocent look, toying with him and loving every minute of it. 'Well, if they're not trustworthy then I'd be worried right now that you made a grave mistake, Miss Adams…' He stared back down at her, over the top of his angular glasses, making her shiver with pleasure. The heavy promise in his voice making itself felt in every pore of her body. 'I don't think I've made a better decision in my life, she replied, breathlessly. He squeezed her hand, lifted it to his lips and gently kissed it before looking back at her again and whispering, 'you really do look stunning. You're going to get more attention than the opera I believe, Nicole.' Pulling her seatbelt loose, she leaned up to him so her lips were level with his ear. Cradling his face with her free hand, she took what breath she could, since her breathing had become shallow, and whispered to him, 'the only attention I want and need is from you. I'm yours, Henrik. I've been yours since the moment I stepped into your office.' Pulling away from his ear, she moved round to see his reaction to what she had said. His eyes were wide, and she moved until they were nose-to-nose, ready to kiss him for the first time that day, when suddenly the taxi swerved again, and jerked to an uncomfortable stop. The taxi driver barked something in Swedish. "Ah, it seems we're here.' He looked flushed she noticed, the first time ever she had seen him look like that and it made her instantly blush to know that she had caused it. Her happiness increasing with how open he was being with her, she waited patiently on him opening the door for her and offering her his hand. As she stepped out of the car, she fixed her dress which had become a little crumpled from the not so peaceful cab ride, and then she reached out her hand to him ready to proceed into the beautiful building that was the **_Kungliga Operan. _**

As they walked towards the main front doors, her eyes darted around the large congregation of people also attending that night's opera. She was surprised to see both old and young people, but all of them looked elegant and she hoped that she looked comparable. Stepping out of the cold night air and into the warm lobby, she took in the stunning decor inside the building itself. She had been so busy anticipating spending time with him that she really hadn't given much of a thought to the actual experience. She had been to ballet before, but not opera, and she had not been to anything in as grand a building as this. 'Beautiful isn't it?' Looking up she could see him smiling with pride, obviously happy that she was so impressed by the place. 'Just wait until you see the theatre itself. It's one of my favourite places to be. Shall we?' Leading her up some stairs luxuriously covered with deep red carpet, they made their way into the balcony. Squeezing her hand tightly, he led her down the stairs until they were front and centre. She gasped as she admired the ornate gold carved ceiling and walls, and the deep red velvet curtain covering the stage area. It was truly majestic, and the view from where they were sitting was breathtaking. 'Your opinion, Nicole…?' he asked and when she turned to answer him she could see his obvious amusement. He had been watching her, mouth agape and he knew fine well what she thought. 'It's gorgeous Henrik. Now when do the Foo Fighters come on again?' She laughed back at him and they sat down and watched as people started to file in as the show neared its beginning.

A few moments later the house lights dimmed, and the great red curtain was pulled aside. She reached for his hand and smiled as he took hold of hers and rested it in between both of his. Sighing a happy sigh she relaxed back and got ready to take in the visual and auditory feast she was about to be treated to. The music washed over her and she was amazed to find she was drawn in more by this than by any modern concert she had been to before. She turned around to try to let Henrik know this, but when she caught sight of his face, she was transfixed by him. He looked so beautiful and peaceful. He was completely immersed in the music, his face displaying an overwhelming emotional attachment to what was playing. She couldn't take her eyes off him, and as she watched him she wondered if this music held something of his past dear to him that he hadn't shared. She finally managed to take her eyes off him, realising that she was being blatant in staring at him. She kept her eyes on the stage, occasionally looking round at him, glorying in the fact that she was getting to spend this time with this man whom she admired and deeply cared for.

As the last of the music subsided, everyone in the entire room it seemed stood and applauded. Standing and joining them, she looked at Henrik and he smiled as they both clapped as the singers took their final bows. 'Well. Did you enjoy?' he asked hopefully. 'Henrik, I loved it. I really did. Thank you.' 'The pleasure was all mine, Nicole. I seem to be the subject of a few envious glances I notice.' She blushed. 'Are you hungry? I've booked a delightful place for dinner, but if its too late we don't have to go…' She smiled, as she thought how she never wanted this night to end, and there is no way she was missing dinner with her charming companion. 'I am hungry- just one thing though. No reindeer this time. Promise?' He laughed and pushed his glasses back up on his face. 'No Rudolph. I promise. Although he was delic…' 'STOP!' she shouted in mock horror. As they stepped outside she walked towards the line of taxis, but he took her hand and directed her away from them. She looked up at him, confused. 'Oh we won't be needing a taxi. If you're cold though I can give you my coat, but we'll only need to walk for a moment or two.' Taking his coat off, he draped it around her shoulders and they walked, hand in hand, as she thought how romantic it was in the dark with the beautiful buildings all lit up. He was right, as a few strides later they stopped and headed for the front of the building right next to the Opera House. She couldn't wait to enjoy the meal with him while being able to look at him properly instead of stealing glances at him.


	13. Chapter 13

**I hope it's ok everyone...This is a longer one.**

As they walked to the table, she admired the beauty of the over sized room that the main dining area occupied. The walls looked like they were made from solid oak. The wood panels covered the ceiling in its entirety, and all of the walls from ceiling to floor. Two huge chandeliers hung above them and there were also large ornate paneled windows. Enormous pictures decorated the walls with scenes from a time long gone. The frames they were in were heavy gold and were elaborately decorated. The pièce de résistance though came in the form of a beautiful fireplace at the end of the room. Surrounded by grey marble, it had a clock above it and then extensive gold carvings above the clock. The room itself housed many circular tables covered in crisp white tablecloths. A rich blue carpet was matched by blue chairs at the tables and on the tables sat wine glasses so clean she could see them shine. The host walked them to a table in the corner of the room, near the fireplace and directly next to one of the huge windows. As the host pulled out their chairs and handed them their menus, Henrik thanked the waiter in Swedish. 'tack så mycket,' he said, the words flowing effortlessly from his tongue. 'You'll have to teach me some Swedish Henrik,' she said to him. He looked up at her as if surprised by this. 'Oh, I'm a little rusty now. I'm not sure I'd teach you perfect pronunciation I'm afraid.' Staring intently at him she replied,'oh I don't mind. I'd just like to know a few words, you know, just to get by. I'd love you to teach me.' He smiled and answered, 'as you wish Nicole. If it makes you happy.' 'It would. Very much.' She smiled her sweetest smile at him, and watched his eyes twinkling as he smiled back. She lifted her menu and studied it, and was glad to see that at least this time the menu was in English as well as Swedish. Deciding on the côte de bœuf, she glanced up at him to see if he had chosen. He was still looking over the menu so she sat and waited patiently on him, soaking up every moment of her evening with him. After a time their waiter appeared and she let Henrik order for them in Swedish as she thought to herself that his accent sounded pretty perfect to a non-Swedish speaker.

With their meal ordered, they relaxed and slipped into conversation. She finally reached over and took his hand. It felt so good to have her hand in his again and she started to miss the feeling after a while being without it. Luckily, he was quite happy to oblige, and took her hand and smiled at her. She wanted to ask him about his childhood and his move to England, but she feared that he would clam up and tonight that was the last thing she needed or wanted. She decided she would leave the more deep and possibly upsetting details of their lives for another time, and even better she hoped that at some point he would just feel comfortable enough to share it without her probing. Their conversation was momentarily disturbed when the waiter swept up to the table to pour them a glass of red wine each. Taking a sip, she replaced the glass on the table and turned to him to tell him how lovely the wine was. It was obvious that he was used to drinking fine wines and he looked pleased to have ordered something that she liked. She was hungry for her dinner, but as the night was passing by faster than she liked to admit, she was also anticipating the evening after dinner, and how she could prolong it. As he finished talking about which opera was his favorite while she listened intently, nodding in all the right places and trying to concentrate on what he was saying, the waiter arrived with their dinner plates. Releasing his hand, she admired the beautiful dish that had been presented to her, before gently lifting her knife and fork and trying a mouthful of the steak on her plate. It melted on her tongue and she closed her eyes to appreciate properly the taste of it. When she re-opened them she found that he was staring at her, a coy smile on his lips. 'Are you laughing at me Henrik?' she managed to say. 'Not laughing at you at all Miss Adams. Merely enjoying watching you enjoying your meal.' She blushed, self-conscious at how much she was evidently enjoying her meal. 'You're spoiling me Henrik,' she finally managed to say. 'Well, I couldn't possibly bring you to my home town and not have you experience the best places,' he smiled as he spoke. 'I'll expect nothing less when you take me to your home town,' he whispered. At that she tried not to choke on her very expensive piece of Swedish steak. She began racking her brain thinking where she could possibly take him in Glasgow, where she hadn't been in a few years that would match what he had shown her in Stockholm. Given time to think, she was sure that she could return the favor and she realized that the reason for her sudden shocked state was not the thought of what to show him in Glasgow but more the fact he has alluded to her taking him there. Was this an expectation? She hoped it was but she didn't want to be presumptuous. Finishing their meal, the waiter came over to take their plates and ask something in Swedish. Henrik answered for both of them and when the waiter was gone he explained to her that he had declined dessert. She mockingly said that she wanted dessert only to crumple when she saw his concerned face, thinking that he had made a mistake at which point she admitted she had been joking as she was full. When the waiter reappeared he asked for the bill. A few moments later it appeared, and she waded into her handbag looking for her purse when she felt a hand on her arm. 'Please. This is my treat.' He said and as she caught the look in his eyes she couldn't refuse him. 'Well, it's absolutely on me in Glasgow then,' she answered. Watching him as he took care of the bill, her heart sank a little at knowing her time with him was almost over.

As they exited the restaurant, he once again slung his warm coat over her shoulders, and this time they did walk to the waiting cab at the front of the line. They climbed in the back as Henrik used his command of the Swedish language to get them home to their hotel. Unlike earlier, the meal and tiredness meant that there was little conversation. She buried herself in his warm chest and relaxed there, feeling the twists and turns of their journey back the hotel that was their home for the night. Far sooner than she was ready for, the taxi pulled over and Henrik settled the fare, before climbing out and opening the door for her. Reluctantly she climbed out, grasping his hand for stability and comfort. He wrapped his arm around her tired frame, and they negotiated their way through the revolving door, and along the corridor to the elevator that would take the to their floor. 'Have I tired you out Nicole?' he whispered gently, his head resting on her head as the elevator climbed slowly. 'I am tired, but so content and happy,' she replied. She turned to look at him. 'Thank you so much for inviting me. I loved every minute of it.' As the elevator stopped with a gentle bump, he didn't have time to reply as the doors opened. They stepped out together and walked slowly along the corridor towards their rooms.

The inevitable moment came when they reached their rooms. Although they were directly opposite one another, she thought that it couldn't have felt further apart and she didn't know what she was going to do about it other than accept it. They stopped dead and she swung his coat from her shoulders and handed it to him. Smiling up at him she said, 'Well, I guess this is goodnight. Thank you so much again for inviting me. I loved every single minute of it.' Looking up at him with sad eyes that were inevitable, she resigned herself to the fact that she was going to spend another night alone in a hotel room, but she was beginning to accept it, rather than rush him into anything that might spoil this beautiful relationship. As he glanced back down at her, she couldn't help but think that he also looked slightly sad. Knowing that it really would have been a shot in the dark for him to ask her to stay with him she took his hand and kissed the back of it. Leaning down to her, he placed the most gentle, lingering kiss on her lips. Sighing, she opened her eyes and wished him a reluctant goodnight, before turning and opening her room door. Once it was closed behind her, her heart sank like a lead weight. Given the circumstances she had no idea how she was going to get to sleep.

She walked over to her case and looked out her nightwear. She had brought her favorite cami top and short set and Victoria's Secret sweatpants and hooded top, just to cover her up a bit more in case she ordered room service. After getting changed, she sighed and sat on the bed. She thought about turning on the TV just to keep her company but then she remembered that all the channels would probably be in Swedish so she didn't bother. The longer she sat, the darker her mood became at the thought of him being so close but so unreachable. Bubbling within her, she actually felt that she was angry and when she got angry, she felt the need for action. Leaping of the bed, she started pacing up and down, going through various scenarios in her head as to what she could do to make this night not be over. She didn't expect him to actually sleep with her, but that didn't mean they couldn't just be together. She wondered idly if he was thinking the same thing across the way, or if he was quite content. 'Right, that's it,' she said to no one but herself. Deciding to be brave like she was before, she was going to march right over there and tell him in no uncertain terms that they should be together and not in two separate rooms. She wanted and needed his company and she would get it. Nothing if not determined, she zipped up the front of her lounge jacket and marched to her door. She checked to make sure she had her room key before pulling the door open. She walked out in to the hall, and the nerves took hold in her stomach at the thought of what she was about to do. It was a risk, she knew. Taking baby steps forward, she lifted her hand to knock on his door when suddenly it flew open and he was there in front of her. He had changed into jeans and a white shirt. She was completely taken aback and the fact that he was dressed so casually put her off guard. She was so caught up in her own shock that she failed to see the shock on his face. His eyebrows were raised and his eyes wide. It took him a second to compose himself before he broke the awkward silence. 'Miss Adams, I didn't expect to see you. I was just going down to the bar for a drink since I couldn't sleep. Would you care to join me?' He was obviously a little rattled and that, she thought, was not something that happened to him often. She wondered if he really was going to the bar, or if it seemed like a plausible explanation just for her. Taking charge of the situation and regaining her brave streak she said, 'I have a better idea. I can't sleep anyway and I make it a point to raid the mini bar in every hotel I stay in. You're not going to let me drink alone are you?' Making her best puppy dog eyes, she looked up at him hopefully. 'Well, when you put it like that how can I refuse?' She breathed a sigh of relief, took his hand and with the other opened her room door.

Inviting him to sit on the sofa in the room, she asked him what he would like to drink. He chose red wine, and so she took two of the small bottles and poured them into glasses for them. She walked over, handed him his drink and then settled down beside him. 'So, you couldn't sleep either? What was the cause of your insomnia do you think?' He looked at her earnestly, waiting on her to speak. Nursing her glass of red wine, she thought for a moment as to how to reply. 'I honestly think that I just couldn't let tonight go. I love being with you, Henrik, and letting you walk away tonight did not lead to restful sleep.' His eyes widened, and she thought he probably didn't expect her to be so honest, but she was not going to mess about any more. She had to make herself clear. She reached over and took his glass, placing it along with hers on the table in front of them. Sliding up close to him, she leaned up and placed a kiss on his lips, quickly pulling back to look into his eyes. 'Please don't leave. Stay with me. We can just lie awake together, I don't care, just please don't leave. I can't stand the thought of you being so close and not with me. You must know that…' She tried to continue, but he raised his hand and placed a finger across her lips, whispering 'shhhh,' at the same time. She stopped immediately and taking his wrist she kissed his finger. At that he wrapped his hand around her neck, and their lips met in a desperate, urgent way that made her sigh loudly against the kiss. She ran one hand through his hair, and was conscious of the welcome feeling of his hands on her waist. She'd been craving the feeling of his hands on her all day. Pulling back from the kiss, they looked into each others eyes, breathing heavily, hands still wrapped around one another. A shiver escaped down her spine. Finally getting her breathing under control, she whispered, 'Lie with me. Just be with me, and hold me. I want to fall asleep with you. You're home, my safe place.' Without one word being uttered, she stood and took his hand in hers, and walked towards the bed. She let his hand go to climb in, slid over and watched him. He looked like he was deciding whether to climb in beside her or bolt, and whatever it was that was slightly holding him back she wished she knew. Making up his mind, he sat on the bed and then swung himself round so that he was beside her. She leaned over and switched the light off, and for a few seconds she couldn't see anything as her eyes worked to adjust to the lack of light. Suddenly his hand wrapped around her waist. He was lying flat on the bed, and so she slid beside him, laid her head and one hand on his chest. She snuggled her head into his neck and felt him lightly kiss her on the top of her head and moved his hand so he could stroke her hair. She felt like nothing on Earth could hurt her. Lying in his arms, she could hear his heartbeat and the gentle rise and fall of his chest. The content, happy feeling was making her sleepy. Her eyes became heavy and she drifted off to into a deep sleep in his arms.


	14. Chapter 14

**This was more difficult to write. I hope it's up to standard. Just the disclaimer again that I do not own the rights to anything to do with Holby City and I am just borrowing Henrik for a while. May I also take this opportunity to wish you all a very Happy Christmas and may all your Christmas wishes come true! x**

As her eyes opened, she was momentarily disoriented. She didn't move, but rather just lay there, her eyes darting around as she tried to place where she was and why she was there. As the memories suddenly popped back into her head, she sat bolt upright and looked beside her only to find she was alone in the bed. Her heart sank and she began to jump to all kinds of conclusions as to why he had chosen to leave when suddenly she heard the water running in the bathroom. She had to decide quickly what to do. She wanted to know what he was going to do when he came back into the room so she quickly rolled over to face the window and closed her eyes. She did have time to notice though that it was still quite dark and so she guessed it was before dawn, perhaps 4 or 5 am. She heard the squeak of the bathroom door, and her stomach knotted in anticipation of what he was going to do. She hoped he didn't leave. Thankfully, she heard him pad over to the side of the bed and gently climb in trying not to disturb her. Relief flooded over her. After he had settled she lay still for a few moments before wondering how she could sidle up to him. She tried to figure out how he was lying and how she could subtlety turn over while still convincing him she was asleep. She decided she could wait no longer, and instead of over thinking it, she stretched a little, yawned, and turned herself over so that she was facing him. Opening her eyes, she pretended she was just waking up. She found herself looking straight into his deep brown eyes and she gasped at the welcome sight. 'Hey,' she whispered. 'Good Morning Nicole. It's rather early still. You'll probably want to get a bit more sleep,' he said and as he did so, he lifted his hand and moved a piece of her hair out of her way that had fallen over her face. She shivered as his fingers brushed her face. Every time he touched her, her whole body seemed to react and it was a feeling she craved. It felt indescribably good and she couldn't remember the last time she felt like that.

'I seem to sleep so much better when you're here,' she replied, 'but then, I'd rather be doing this…' Sliding herself up she placed her lips on his with the gentlest of touches. Her stomach turned somersaults at the feeling. Greedily wanting more, she put her hand on his cheek and kissed his lips again, more urgently this time, breathing heavily and unconsciously sighing as her body reacted to it. He began to react to her and gradually his need for her seemed to become more urgent and needy also. Sensing this, without thinking, her hands moved to the buttons on his shirt. Seeking contact with him, she began to unbutton his crisp white shirt. Starting at the top she unbuttoned one after another as they continued the kiss. Realizing that she had undone the last button on his shirt, she stopped and looked up at him, looking for his reaction. Staring into his intense brown eyes, she had to momentarily take him in. 'You're so beautiful,' she said, before she even realized she had said it out loud. Embarrassed, she diverted her eyes from his before looking at him again. 'I say too much sometimes,' she admitted, but when she really looked at him she realized that he just looked surprised as if he wasn't used to compliments. In her craving to be as near to him as possible, she decided to unzip and take off her zipped, hooded top. He watched her as she did so, and having tossed it aside, she took up her position next to him. She could feel the warmth of him and gloried in being so close to him, hearing the rise and fall of his chest. Risking pushing her luck some more, she took her left hand and placed it under the shirt she had undone. Beginning to run it from has neck down, she got to his stomach before she felt him tense up. Nevertheless, she felt brave and being desperate for his touch, she moved so that she could place a gentle open mouthed kiss in his neck, before sliding down to place kiss after kiss down his chest. He allowed her to do so, until she reached his stomach. Suddenly and without warning, he moved out of her reach and grabbed for her wrists. 'Stop. Stop right now. That is quite enough.'

Shocked, she immediately stopped and raised her hands above her head in a visual sign that she wasn't going to do anything more. Mixed up emotions ran through her. Knowing that she had pushed things with him more than she really had planned, knowing that he had history of not showing his emotions, she had truthfully expected this and yet, she really had just been acting in the moment where they both seemed happy where things were going. She felt tears start in the corner of her eyes. She admired, respected and was prepared to give every part of herself to this man, and the thought that she had upset him was too much to bear. Gathering her thoughts, she finally felt able to say, 'Henrik, I am so sorry. I never meant to overstep any boundaries. I was just doing what I felt was right, and what I wanted to do. I had no idea I was pushing things too far and that's the last thing I want.' Looking at him with pleading eyes she could see his face soften. Taking her face in his hands, he looked at her with gentle eyes and explained,' it's not you, Nicole. It's me.' Looking away from her as if it was too painful to look her in the eye any more, he tried to continue but when he opened his mouth to, nothing came out. She realized that he simply wasn't used to talking about his feelings. Having worked with him she understood that his emotional protection was to appear as emotionless as possible, and yet she could see visibly that underneath that he was a man who was gentle, who cared deeply about those around him and she loved every single part of him. She wondered silently how she was going to get him to open up to her and tell her exactly why he was holding back.

She needed him to know that he could let his guard down with her, that she was a safe place. She felt that she had already broken down so many barriers already. 'You can tell me Henrik,' she whispered. She took the backs of her fingers and ran them down his face before gently pulling his chin around so he was looking at her once again. 'I know how hard this is for you. I get that there's something holding you back and I want you to know its ok. You don't even need to tell me right now if you don't think you can. Just know I'm here for you.' Noticing how concerned he looked, she wondered if he was worried he had damaged something between them, that she would be angry that he stopped her and she wouldn't want this any more. Her heart broke at the thought. Finally he managed to speak. So quietly that she almost couldn't hear him he whispered, 'I'm afraid I'm not used to anyone being this close to me. You know what I admire about you? How you don't hide anything at all. Every feeling etched on your face. I'm just not able to do that. I can't keep thinking how it would be easier for you to be with someone more open, someone willing to give you everything you need, someone who is not as…damaged.' With that last word hardy escaping his mouth, he threw the covers off and stood up. 'I must be going now. I've said far too much. We'll get back to Holby and say no more about it. I'm so sorry to have wasted your time…' Anger rose in her like an erupting volcano. 'Now wait a minute, who gave you permission to tell me what I need or who I would be better with? And who asked you to leave? What is happening here?' She grabbed his arm as he started to march to the door of her room. He swung round and his face was crumpled with sadness. Maybe she hadn't quite appreciated how emotionally damaged he was. She wondered what could have caused it. 'Don't leave me. Don't you get it? I feel emptier when you're not with me, like there's a piece of me missing. I made a mistake. I tried to push you into something you weren't read for and that's ok. Just don't leave. I need you. Please.' Looking at him pleadingly, she hoped that he would just be willing to come back to her. 'I think its hard for you feeling this vulnerable because you're letting me so far into your life, but we can take it slowly Henrik. Don't push me away. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me.' The tension in him she felt as she held his arm dissipated and he turned around to face her. She sighed with relief as he let her slowly guide him back to where they were lying before. Very gently she rested a hand on his chest and her head on his shoulder, nuzzling his neck. Suddenly, and without warning she began to silently sob, the emotion of the whole trip proving too much for her. She tried to make no noise so that he didn't notice, not wanting to cause any more upset to him, but he soon realized. 'I'm so sorry. I don't even know why I'm crying…' she managed to say. Without answering her, he took her face in his hands and began to gently kiss her tears away. He took her breath away every time he did something that made her realize even more than she did already just how special he was. She felt privileged to be able to know this man in way others didn't and a surge of love for him coursed through her body. Her thought was interrupted by his lips meeting hers and making her forget her train of thought.


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey all, I wrote this while I was back in Glasgow visiting my mum. I have had it for a few days, trying to add to it, but I'd rather just post this and then start afresh and work out what is going to happen next. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, and I also hope that all your dreams and wishes come true in 2013. Once again it makes me happier than you know that you are reading this ans the reviews make me so happy I grin like an idiot, so thank you! As for tonight, the Sweden episode, see you all on the ice! I won't be able to concentrate all day! :-) (Disclaimer- I do not own any of the rights to Holby City or its characters, I am merely borrowing Mr. Hanssen.)**

When she woke again there was no doubt that it was morning. The light shone in the window, bypassing the heavy curtains and she squinted through the narrow gap her eyes allowed. Her mind flitted through the nights events, and as she remembered, she tried to wake herself into action to check that he was still there. She could feel the warmth of his body beside her. He hadn't woken yet and so she took the time to watch him. He looked so peaceful. Suddenly, he began to move slightly, obviously in the first stages of wakefulness. She stayed as still as she could, determined to enjoy watching him. He looked so different when he was sleeping. All of the worry and stress that registered in his face usually was gone. He looked so peaceful and relaxed. She thought that even although she couldn't see his hypnotic brown eyes, he still looked beautiful. She resisted the urge to kiss him, knowing that would wake him completely. Instead she watched him and wondered what it was that had her so intrigued. His curly brown hair was a little longer than usual, and she thought how lovely it was to run her fingers through it. She bit her lip and let her eyes stray lower to where she could see his chest begin underneath the top button of his shirt that he was still wearing. It was so tempting to kiss him, or run his hands over his face, but she didn't know when the next time was that she be able to indulge like this and watch him sleep so she lay still and watched him take deep breaths.

Finally, being able to resist no more, she leaned up and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. She pulled back in time to see him slowly open his eyes and she smiled at the sight of his deep brown eyes. 'Morning Henrik,' she whispered as seductively as she could. She moved herself closer to him so that her body had contact with his. 'How long have you been awake?' he managed to reply sleepily. 'Not long. I tried not to wake you, but I'm afraid I failed miserably.' She looked up at him with her best puppy dog eyes, hoping he would forgive her for waking him. 'Time to head back to reality I guess,' she murmured feeling annoyed that these lovely trips with him always had to end. 'I'm afraid so,' he replied. Suddenly, she became very aware of all that she had admitted and said a few hours earlier in the darkness of the early hours and she became self-conscious. She suddenly felt like she had to address it. 'Henrik, I'm so glad you stayed. Thank you. I know it wasn't easy for you.' His eyes looked heavy with deep thoughts, and she momentarily panicked, hoping she hadn't taken him back to the place he was earlier when his instinct to flee was s strong. She knew fine well that this level of closeness he had developed with her was a shot in the dark for him and not a place he goes naturally or comfortably. She wanted to know so badly why he was like this, but given her feelings for him, she was willing to wait until he was ready to tell her. It was obvious though that there was deep hurt in his past that made him averse to becoming emotionally attached to someone. Given that she knew that it amazed her that she has gotten to this point. She thought back to how he had become comfortable with holding her hand, kissing her, and now even staying with her overnight. She admired him even more because she knew how much he must have struggled with every one of those things.

She ended the silence and the almost frightened look in his eyes by gently kissing him on the lips and trailing a line of more light touches of her lips around his jaw line until she reached his neck. Planting the last light touch on the soft flesh behind his ear she drew back to look at him. The frown had softened and his eyes had become light and sparkly again, whatever dark thoughts had been in his head had evaporated. She smiled. 'I love seeing you so happy and relaxed. It makes me happy too. Thank you for bringing me here and letting me go to the opera with you. It was one of the loveliest things I've ever experienced.' Looking at him earnestly she hoped that she conveyed that she meant every word. 'I'm very glad. I wasn't sure you'd enjoy it. I hope, if you'll allow me, to one day show you many more lovely things in Stockholm. Perhaps.' He looked away, still uncomfortable with being so bold. 'I'd love to Henrik.' Grinning from ear to ear, her happiness with cut short when he reminded them it was time to get ready to leave. The beautiful, happy bubble they had been in since the previous evening had well and truly been burst…

As they excited the hotel, pulling along their suitcases, she glanced behind with a tinge of sadness at the thought of leaving. He noticed her and said, 'It's quite alright. You'll be back.' She smiled at him and her heart melted a little at how he seemed to read her thoughts like that and reassure her. The journey in the taxi to the airport as quick and effortless, the highlight being listening to him talk to the driver in Swedish, something she always loved to hear. They checked in and went straight to the lounge, Henrik getting them both a coffee. They sat where they could watch the planes taking off, and she rested her head on his shoulder. She was pleased when he laughed when she confessed to him that she had applied to be a flight attendant before she applied for her medical degree. 'I can see you now, Miss Adams, smart uniform, offering tea and coffee. Bit of luck the medical profession didn't lose you indeed.' He had the naughtiest smile on his face and in return she couldn't help grinning from ear to ear. 'Well I'm glad you think so,' she managed to reply.

Their flight was finally called, marking the finality of their trip. Sighing, she took his hand and they boarded the plane. Watching as the beautiful scenery of Sweden passed by as the plane climbed up into the clouds, she silently hoped that this relationship was able to battle through his issues, because looking at him now, glass in hand smiling at her, she knew she was in deeper than she ever thought she could be. If this was to fail, her heart would break. Possibly beyond repair. Smiling sweetly back at him, she raised her own glass and joined him in saying 'cheers' in Swedish, before relaxing her head on his shoulder and enjoying the last couple of hours with him all to herself before their return to Holby.


	16. Chapter 16

**Hello! This chapter seems a bit different somehow, basically because I tried to give it some substance around all of the developing relationship. Thanks again for being lovely and taking time to read this and write reviews for me. Each and every one of them make me so happy!**

"He's crashing! Get the crash cart! Paddles please, charge to 260. Clear! Nothing. Charge again please. Clear! We have sinus rhythm." Everyone in the room breathed a sigh of relief as she replaced the paddles on the crash cart, and ordered some more scans to be done. As she walked away from the patient she finally let go the breath she had been holding since the emergency call button had been pressed and Nurse Lane had shouted for help. Suddenly realising that she had been negligent in not saying thank you to Nurse Lane, which she always liked to do for multiple reasons, one being that she realised that saving lives was down to teamwork and every person involved was just as important as the next, no matter what their job title. The second being that Nurse Lane sometimes doubted herself and her abilities, and so she liked to make sure she always praised the cheery, bubbly nurse's contribution to boost her self-confidence.

Turning on her heel to retrace her steps, her path was blocked by an expensive suit with a particularly handsome looking waistcoat. She knew the owner straight away, and resisting the urge to wrap her arms round him, she looked up and nodded a very professional, "Mr. Hanssen, good morning," before stepping around him to catch Chantelle before she busied herself with her other patients. Unable to resist another look at him in that suit with the waistcoat that always gave her delightful shivers down her spine, she turned her head around to find him still watching her as she walked away. Satisfied by that knowledge, she smiled at him, turned around and kept walking and suddenly she laughed as she remembered how she had once read that a well tailored suit on a man had the same effect on women as lingerie had on men. How very true she thought, and the proof was about 3 feet behind her.

Chantelle had by this time reached the Nurses Station and was sharing a joke with the charming if strong willed Mr. Malick. She could see from the way that they acted with one another that they had a professional relationship that was very special. They both respected and liked one another and the chemistry between them was obvious. She smiled as she thought that she was glad for Chantelle. Having Mr. Malick in your corner was a good thing indeed and he also gave Chantelle the boost she needed to believe in herself. "Chantelle, I didn't say this back there but thanks again for your help with the patient. Your exceptional nursing skills helped to save him." She watched as Chantelle's smile turned into a grin from ear to ear and her cheeks turned slightly pink. She couldn't imagine anyone not liking the nurse with the sweet disposition. "Oh I could hug you Dr. Adams, I really could," she beamed. Happy that her task was accomplished, she looked at Malick to see him smiling at her approvingly.

"Is it National Compliments Day then?' Recognising the voice instantly, she turned around to find Hanssen standing right behind her and when she looked back round at Chantelle she see the grin disappearing rapidly from her face. "Mr Hanssen, Chantelle showed such quick responses back there with her patient that I just had to make sure she knew what an excellent job she's doing." Chantelle raised her eyebrows hopefully in anticipation waiting to hear Mr Hanssen's response. "Very well then. Very happy to hear we're all doing a good job down here." He nodded to acknowledge Chantelle, before striding off down the hall. Once he was out of sight, Chantelle let out a deep breath, clearly relieved. "Do you know, he really is a lovely man, but sometimes I just never know what he's going to say. He's a pussy cat really, isn't he?" Chantelle stared at her, smiling, awaiting a response. She felt her cheeks flush thinking what to say as Chantelle and now Mr Malick were both looking at her expectantly. "I'm sure he is, yes." She didn't wait one minute longer feeling like she was looking extremely guilty and embarrassed all at the same time. Striding off at a brisk pace, she left Chantelle and Malick behind who looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders.

Later that day, just after finishing a surgery, along with Jac, on a young lady who had a heart condition, she was told by Chantelle that she was to report to Hanssen's office a couple of hours later at 6pm. Wondering whether he wanted her for business or pleasure, and thinking it was sure to be the former, since he was back to his professional best in the confines of the hospital, she smiled to herself, because she remembered that she had a little present for him. The only trouble was, she really wanted to leave it in his office for him before she had the meeting with him. An idea came to her. That Polish porter, the one whose job Hanssen had rescued after he had been let go and now they seemed to afford one another the occasional favour. Surely if she asked him nicely, he would discreetly deposit said present in Hanssen's office so that he already had it by the time she went to see him. Tracking him down, she handed him the box and asked him to be ever so careful with it, and hold it upright. Since she had discovered his penchant for looking after and caring for small things that needed nurturing, such and birds and bonsai trees (she had found this out from Chantelle, who had a habit of telling her everything about everyone, in a very non gossipy, sweet way. Turns out she had walked into Hanssen's office on a couple of occasions for obscure reasons only to be told to knock in future and had found him with said bird and on the second occasion the tree). She had spent hours scouring the internet to locate a very fine, rare and expensive bonsai. The truth was that she felt that deep down, the bird and the tree allowed him to indulge in a need he had to take care of things, and those particular things were things that he didn't need to worry about any kind of reciprocal feelings, and so they suited him just so. The tree included a card, unsigned, but bearing the words- "I know you'll take good care of it. X" As she approached his office an hour and a half later, after doing one last round of her patients to check on them, she knocked the door smiling and thinking of her gift, and had quite forgotten to worry about why she was there in the first place.

"Do come in,' he said assertively. As she opened the door and strode towards his oversized oak desk, she smiled as she noticed the small bonsai tree, pride of place beside his laptop. "You sent for me Mr. Hanssen?" she said, trying to look serious, but failing miserably. He stood up behind the desk, and her smile faded, replaced by an altogether different feeling in her stomach as she admired him. "Yes, I did, didn't I?" He peered over the top of his glasses at her and he had a look on his face that was unreadable but rather intense. "I thought you should know the good news first. I'm sure you remember our little jaunt to the conference in Stockholm?" He smiled devilishly at her, knowing fine well she remembered it, and the day after it. So well in fact, she often replayed it in her mind, and asking herself if it actually did happen. "Of course I do. How could I forget. If I recall correctly, there were a few things that happened during that conference that made it quite enjoyable," she smiled back at him. "Quite enjoyable. Indeed. Well, if you will also recall, you managed to secure the purchase of a very expensive machine that Holby would have had no possible chance of acquiring for the foreseeable future. Although I do remember that it came at a price." His face changed into an expression as if he just tasted something vile. "That lecherous man. Anyway, It's arrived. The Da Vinci Robot is here. I wondered if you'd like to see it first. Mr. Spence can't wait to get his hands on it. He's already been trained how to us it in America when he was still there. He's going to be learning how to operate on throat cancer with it since it involves such delicate plastic surgery in order to use grafts to close the wound It's never been done here yet on throat cancer, so we're hoping to be the first. I'm not quite sure how Holby can properly thank you Miss Adams." By this time, he had moved around the front of the desk and perched himself on it so he sitting down. He reached up with his right hand and removed his glasses from his face, while with his left he used his thumb and finger to pinch the top of his nose. He did this, she noticed, when he was tired and stressed, and she wondered if the long meeting with the board he had before this meeting with her had been heavy going. She wanted to walk over to him and hug him, and as she watched him she started to let her mind wander to how the way he was perched on the desk mean that if she walked over to him and stood between his legs, she'd be at the exact height where she could kiss him…"You ready to go and see it then?" Shaking herself out of her daydream, she found that he had already replaced his glasses and was standing up, holding his arm out motioning for her to start walking and he would follow. She cursed herself for not being quicker to take advantage, but then again she wasn't quite sure how he would have reacted to that since they were in his office.

Striding down the long corridors of Holby, they finally reached the lift. As the lift descended somewhere into what seemed to be the bowels of Holby General, she felt very conscious of the fact that it was just the two of them there. Henrik broke the silence and her thoughts though by saying, "I had a rather beautiful gift left for me earlier in my office. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that now, would you?" He turned to smile at her. Deciding to toy with him she replied, "Absolutely not. I think you must have a secret admirer, Henrik. All you have figure out is who has a thing for tall, dark Swedes." Keeping a straight face, she turned to watch his reaction, but it was short lived as the lift bumped to a stop and the doors opened. Henrik stepped out first this time, apologising for doing so since it goes against his gentlemanly ways, however, he explained, he knows the way from here. After a short walk down another dank and decidedly dusty corridor, Henrik finally turned left, unlocked the heavy door, and opened it. He motioned for her to enter the room first. In front of her was a crisp, white, expensive looking, huge machine that looked like it was worth every penny of whatever Mr. Lecherous had paid for it. "Wow," was all she could manage, before turning to look at Henrik. He beamed down at her with what looked like pride. "All because of you Miss Adams," he said in his sing-song voice. She had a sudden thought of what to do next and decided that it was naughty but she was going to do it anyway. "Henrik, you know you said you didn't know how the hospital could ever repay me?" His eyebrows raised as if he was wondering what on Earth she could be about to say next. "Well, you are the CEO of the hospital, so maybe you could think of some way to say thank you to me on behalf of the hospital?" She looked at him with her most wicked grin, and she laughed as the shock on his face registered clearly. "I'm pretty sure that's against hospital regulations Miss Adams," he said, sounding panicked. Rescuing him, she said, "How about you take me to dinner. I won't tell a soul, I promise." She looked at him hopefully as the panic dissolved from his expression. "Well, I think that can be arranged Miss Adams." He smiled, and they left the room with the valuable piece of medical equipment locked up securely and made their way back up to the wards and business of Holby, her stomach turning somersaults at being able to leave with him and not go home alone.


	17. Chapter 17

**It had to happen eventually... And I had to up the rating a little. (I may be blushing.) Anyway, thanks Holby for letting me borrow Hanssen even though I do not own any rights to the show or characters. I hoe you enjoy. This was the most difficult chapter to write so far. **

The wine bottle was empty, the plates cleared away. She watched him as he signed his name on the bill, look up at her and smile. It seemed inevitable to her that what happens next is what she's wanted for a very long time. Looking at him now, there simply was no other option for her. She had to have him. Every single part of her told her that. It would be devastating for the night to end any other way and as such she was ready to use her more than ample persuasive skills. She knew his flight risk was high, but the wine had her confidence at an all time high. "Well, Miss Adams, what now? Care for a coffee somewhere?" As he spoke he stood, leaving her to admire his tall stature and how a well cut expensive suit on a handsome man really did do things to her she couldn't explain. "Actually, I wouldn't mind a night cap. At mine." She looked at him with a certain, serious gaze that let him know there was no other option. This was not a request. "Very well. Shall we then?" He walked around and pulled her chair out and then put one slender hand out to help her up. The waiter shuffled towards them, handing them their coats. Hanssen took them, first helping her into hers before replacing his own over his suit jacket. They proceeded into the cold air and into the waiting taxi called on their behalf by the restaurant.

After a short journey they arrived at hers. She cursed as she waded in her bag to locate the keys to her front door. Always the way when she needed something fast she thought. She silently vowed to go through her bag tomorrow and remove all the excess garbage that always meant she couldn't find her phone and keys right when she needed them most. "Having trouble there, Miss Adams?" His tone was amused and she could tell that he was smiling widely as he said the words. Luckily she finally found her keys, and dragged them out, opening the door while answering him with, "Not at all. Just temporarily misplaced. That's all." They both walked through the heavy wooden door to her home, Hanssen closing it behind them. She threw her bag and keys down onto the wooden floor of cherry hardwood she had chosen and had fitted merely days before, and shrugged off her heavy coat, placing it on the coat stand. Walking to the kitchen she asked him if he preferred whisky, baileys, or brandy whilst apologizing that she didn't have anything else. "Brandy with ice will suffice, thank you," came the reply. She decided she would surprise him with her favourite concoction, one part brandy to one part baileys, or 'baileys with a kick' as she liked to call it. She carefully walked back through to meet him, having removed his own coat and made himself comfortable on her sofa.

She carefully handed him his glass, and smiled as she saw his confused look as he saw it. "It's brandy, Henrik, with a little baileys added. You'll like it, I promise." She sat down next to him and watched him as he lifted the drink to his lips and took a sip. His eyebrows raised as he tasted it and then he nodded in approval. "Interesting combination, but it works. I'm impressed Miss Adams." She suddenly realized she didn't care about drinks or his approval or otherwise of them. She had waited far too long to feel like this about anyone, and here he was, the man who made her life feel worthwhile, sitting beside her. "Aren't you drinking yours?" he asked, noticing that she was frozen, staring at him instead of enjoying the drink she had mixed for herself. Placing the glass down on her oak coffee table, she replied, "No, I'll have it later. To be honest my mind seems to be on other things." At that he almost choked on the baileys and brandy he had in his mouth, but recovered well and asked, "What would that be Nicole?" She thought about replying, but no words seemed to cover what she was thinking. Instead, she moved herself closer to him and grabbed his tie, pulling it close to her until she could feel his breath escape from his lips. "This," she managed to mumble, before meeting his lips with hers. He almost dropped his glass on the floor as he continued to kiss her but also reached to place it on the coffee table. Once the glass was deposited his hands were free to grasp her tightly, one hand around her waist, the other cupping her face. In turn, she moved closer to him, roughly running one hand through his thick, curly hair. Their kiss became desperate, and she realized she was making gasping, breathy noises, but she didn't care, since this is what she needed so badly. His hands and lips on her are what's been missing in her life she thinks, and she is suddenly grateful for a moment that she got that job because it meant she got something altogether more important along with it. Whatever happens, she's not going to let him run tonight. This is happening.

They finally broke the kiss, needing to stop for air, taking heavy, panting breaths and as she looked at him, thinking he looked definitely disheveled, as if he'd been literally dragged through a hedge backwards. If the heavy tension wasn't there between them she'd have laughed, and since she felt that she probably looked in the same state, she was sure he would have laughed at her too. But, there was only a look of serious intent between them, the air heavy with promise and expectation. She stood, keeping one of his hands in hers, and walked towards her bedroom. He dutifully followed behind her, silently. She walked over to and climbed onto her pine framed bed, kneeling in front of him on the charcoal grey duvet cover and after swiftly removing the elegant purple tie he was wearing, began to undo his shirt buttons one by one. Her heart was beating so fast that she was acutely aware of it, and she wondered if he was as nervous as she was. As she leaned up to push his shirt from his shoulders, down off his arms to land on her bedroom floor, they were once again face to face. She ran her hands up his chest before lifting them above her head, a clear gesture for him pull her shirt off. He obliged, tugging the shirt until it was over her head, leaving her kneeling there in her deliberately chosen most flattering bra from Victoria's Secret. Their breathing became notably more shallow and irregular, their heartbeats increased due to the fact that they were skin to skin now, the first time they had seen each other this way. She swung her legs around and slid off the bed and as she stood there beside him, she unzipped her skirt and let it fall to the floor, before walking behind him tracing light, gentle kisses across his back. She pulled the duvet cover back, and climbed in, shuffling over, her eyes inviting him to join her.

She turned away from him as he removed the rest of his clothes before quickly sliding in beside her so that their bodies were touching. Not wasting one more minute, needing him so much her stomach actually hurt, she spun round and her hands were on him, swiftly followed by her lips, first kissing his lips before trailing kisses down his chest. She stopped suddenly to look at him, gauge his reaction, remembering the last time she did this and how it was too much for him. But this time, he looked certain. His eyes flashed with what almost looked like anger, but she knew better and she knew that this time he was ready. He wanted her as much as she wanted him. A surge of desire ran through her that increased exponentially as she felt his hands round her waist, a feeling that sent what felt like every nerve in her body into overdrive. She craved the feeling of his fingertips on her bare skin, his lips on her neck, kissing her before taking her earlobe in his mouth, making her sigh loudly. For one moment, she pulled back so she could look at him, in disbelief as to what was actually happening. She truly didn't believe the stoic head of surgery and CEO of Holby who for the most part presented himself to the world as serious, reserved, together, disimpassioned, was here with her, giving every part of himself to her, his skillful surgeons hands on her. She couldn't believe her luck. This astounded her more than even that first kiss.

Not able to help herself, she whispered breathlessly in his ear, "I've wanted you, needed you like this for a long time." Their lips met again and she was swept up in the moment, their bodies entwined. Before she even realized what she was doing, she spun over so that she was astride him, her shoulder length blonde hair hanging down over him. She took his hands and pinned them on the bed above his body. Leaning forward so that she was entirely leaning herself against his chest, she kissed him once more, slowly and teasingly on his lips before pulling back to see him, watch him there under her. She sat up straight, letting go if his wrists, keeping one hand on his chest and flicking her hair. She savored the moment, this man who made her whole life something different and entirely with more meaning to what she knew before him.

Suddenly, and without warning, he twisted himself quickly so that she landed on the covers. He readjusted himself so that he was above her. "I think it's about time you were entirely mine, don't you think?" Stunned by his forwardness and the look in his eyes, she didn't reply, merely nodded, and shivers made their way down her spine. She had an unexplainable need for him the intensity of which was making it hard to breathe in any kind of regular fashion. "Stop," she said suddenly and was aware that he looked confused swiftly followed by a wounded look. "It's just that you might need this." Reaching behind her she retrieved what she had earlier hidden beneath her pillow, just in case. The wounded look disappeared, an understanding one replacing it, and he allowed her to reach for him, her butterflies and desire increasing in tandem as she rolled the condom gently over him, hearing his sharp intake of breath as she did so. As she finished, she peered up at him to find him with his eyes closed. She stretched herself up to kiss him, grasping his neck, before slowly leaning back on the covers, hands above her head. Suddenly, she gasped as she felt him inside her. She closed her eyes and reached for something, anything for her hands to grasp tightly as the intensity sent her body into spasm. She found his hands, and intertwined her fingers round his. Opening her eyes, she found herself staring straight into his. They were burning with desire and intent. It was like every past hurt, disappointment, and damage was gone in that moment. Nothing. Else. Mattered. She let his hands go, and he lowered himself nearer to her, allowing her to reach around his back. She ran her nails across his shoulder blades as he moved inside her, and she knew she wouldn't be able to hold on much longer. Grabbing his hair as her body tensed with pleasure, she screamed out his name, before her body finally relaxed. He lay beside her, both of them still breathing heavily. She lay her head on his chest and held his hand. She didn't want to move, speak, or look at him for fear of disturbing the moment, or what had just happened, which she was still in disbelief about. After a while lying in blissful silence, basking in the moment, she remembered what he had said about making her his. "Entirely mine," he had said, in a way that left her in no doubt as to his feelings. She moved up to whisper in his ear, "I'm yours, Henrik. All yours."

**I hope that 2013 is going brilliantly for all of you and I'm very glad that the enigmatic, charming, handsome Swede is back at Holby. I love Tuesdays once more...x**


	18. Chapter 18

Spinning around and around, Henrik was smiling broadly at her. They were the only ones on the dance floor, the assorted guests all staring at them , smiling and clapping. She had never been happier. He stopped twirling her round, instead pulled her close as the song changed to a slow number. She leaned into him, hands clasped tightly around his back and in turn he embraced her as they swayed slowly to the music. After a few bars of music some other people came up to join them, and soon the floor was filled with couples dancing slow and close. As the song finished, she looked at him thinking he was as handsome as she had ever seen him, and his face the most relaxed. Deciding it was time for a rest, they took hands and made their way back to their seats. He helped her to sit down since she was finding it difficult to sit comfortably in the large white hooped dress she was wearing. She didn't care though, since she wanted to look as stunning as she could for him, and this dress was perfect. Suddenly the music stopped, someone clinked a glass and announced that it was time for the speeches. "Before the speeches ladies and gentleman, please raise your glasses to a toast the happy couple, Mr. and Mrs. Hanssen!"

Her eyes opened suddenly and without warning. She cursed the fact that whenever she was having an amazing dream, she had to wake up right in the middle of it, when there was so much more still to happen. There had to be some kind of scientific reason for that, she thought. She turned over gently, thinking that Henrik would still be fast asleep, and she couldn't wait to slide next to him, embrace him and wake him up gently. When she turned round, however, all she saw was crumpled covers and an empty space where he should be. Remembering back to the last time she panicked at him not being beside her, and how he had actually almost left until she pleaded with him, she couldn't believe he had done it again. Thinking she had better check first before doing anything hasty, she softly called his name to no avail. Wrapping one of the bed sheets around her, she stepped to her front window where she could see her driveway to find that only her car remained in the drive. Henrik's sleek, black Volvo was gone. He heart sank. She thought after what had happened a few hours ago that they were past him running away like this. He was so sure with her, she traced not one bit of anxiety or fear or distress, so why run now? She had to sort this out with him, explain to him that he had nothing to fear once and for all. She looked at the clock. There was still a few hours left before she had to be at Holby. She lifted her mobile and dialed his number. No answer. She thought about leaving a message but decided against it, thinking that this was a matter that had to be dealt with face to face. Wandering into her kitchen, she switched the kettle on, badly needing a coffee to wake her up properly and help her think. While she was waiting on it to boil, she went back to her room to grab a dressing gown and there, on the floor, was his expensive silk tie. She lifted it, and rubbed it along her cheek. Her only reminder that he was ever here. It smelled faintly of his cologne. Comforted by it, she swung it around her neck and kept it there until it was time to get ready for work.

Pulling into the car park at Holby, she felt a sudden pang of intense nerves at the thought of knowing he was there. That feeling intensified as she passed his Volvo parked in his reserved spot as CEO of Holby. She shook herself and focused on the fact that her talents meant that she made a difference to the patients she treated and decided to concentrate on that and let other matters rest. For now. As it turned out she was kept very busy as Malick accosted her for a consult almost the minute she stepped on the ward. Hours and two surgeries later, she hadn't given Hanssen a second thought. It was one of those days when she knew she had chosen the right career. There was no way she could have been stuck in an office, and even though there were parts of the job she didn't much enjoy, she told herself that every job had those, and the vast majority of the time she was in her element and the time flew. She smiled at the thought that not everyone gets this lucky in their career, and turned around to visit her last patient of the day.

She froze as she saw him, back to her, at the end of her patient's bed, obviously scrutinizing the notes made by Chantelle and by her. A sudden anger spread through her, a combination of him leaving and her wondering what the hell he was doing with her patient. She strode over to where he was. "Problem Mr Hanssen?" she demanded. "Ah, Dr. Adams, not at all. Just doing some rounds, keeping up with the pulse of the ward, if you'll pardon the pun." As he spoke she tried to read his expression, because she knew the tone he used was of his well rehearsed, stoic CEO, but his eyes told her everything. They were sad and blank. He smiled a forced smile at her and replaced the notes, turned around and marched off. She went to storm after him, but was stopped in her path by Chantelle, smiling brightly. "Everything OK Dr. Adams? You look like you've seen a ghost. It wasn't Mr. Hanssen was it? I saw him over here." Chantelle looked expectantly at her. She was suddenly impatient with Chantelle, which had never happened before, but the fact she had stopped her going after Hanssen had made her annoyed. "Everything's fine Chantelle. Now if you'll excuse me." She replied, sounding harsher than she meant to and immediately regretting it as she saw the smile literally melt from Chantelle's face. "I'm so sorry Chantelle. It's not you. It's just been one of those days, you know?" "Awww, yeah, I totally do. Don't worry about it." Chantelle grinned, touched her arm and gave her a pitying look before turning round and skipping away. She glanced down the corridor Hanssen had gone down and he was out of sight. She sighed and felt resigned after a long work day that she wasn't going to see him today. It'd have to wait.

She dragged herself to the locker room and packed up her bag. She passed the ground floor coffee shop on her way out, and was tempted to grab a latte, but had second thoughts as the caffeine would keep her awake most, if not all, night. She stepped out into the dark car park, staring at her feet as she trudged along, fully depressed about the brief meeting with Hanssen, so different from the previous night that she was almost convinced that she must have dreamed that as well as the wedding. She laughed to herself as remembered that part of the dream. "Some hope," she muttered to herself. She looked up, ready to press the unlock button on her keys when she noticed that the Volvo was still in its parking space. She assumed he'd have been long gone by now, but then with him being the CEO of Holby, she guessed he must have been waylaid by some important meeting or other. Walking past the car, she noticed movement inside it. Peering in the window she saw him, glasses off, pinching the top of his nose between his thumb and finger as he did when he was stressed. He suddenly looked up and saw her looking startled. Rooted to the spot, she really wasn't sure what to do for the best. He had obviously seen her, so to walk away now would look bad, but to stay meant some kind of interaction would happen and she just wasn't sure what to say.

Deciding to walk away, she turned her back to the car and to him and walked briskly away from his car towards hers. She heard his car door open and close but kept walking, tears welling up in her eyes. This was not her. She was stronger than this, but if she admitted it she was in so deep with him she wasn't really shocked that the emotion had caught up with her. She fought the tears back when suddenly she heard her name and a hand land on her shoulder. She froze and shrugged him off. Turning around to face him he looked distraught. The anger that had begun to well up inside her dissipating as soon as she laid eyes on him. "Henrik, are you OK?" she whispered. He gazed down at her and whispered, "I'm not good at this. I left for good reason you know. You're far better off without me. Believe me." He sounded desperate and the look on his face made her aware that he didn't believe a word he was saying. "Henrik, we have to sort this out. Come with me now. You can say what you like but I can see you're upset. I get it. I get that you don't want to get too involved for whatever reason, but its too late Henrik. I need you to come with me. We can sort this out." He removed his glasses and pinched his nose again, before pressing the key that made his Volvo squeal its announcement that it was locked. He followed her silently and when they reached her car he climbed in beside her. It was like dealing with a delicate, injured bird, she thought. She had treated him with care, persuaded him to come with her, being gentle and encouraging to prevent him from flying away. She drove them home in the same silence, and hoped that she could find how to make this man she loved open and up and exorcise his demons once and for all.

She pulled the handbrake on and they sat there for a few, painful minutes before climbing out of her car together. She unlocked the door to her home, where they had both been, in completely different spirits almost 24 hours before. He sat, hands clasped, in her living room. "Drink, Henrik?" she asked. "No, I'm fine," he replied. She needed a drink and poured herself and Henrik a brandy, figuring he might just need it. She sat the glasses on the table and sat next to him, their knees touching. She took his hands in hers, and finally summoned up the courage to ask him what was going on. "I'm better off alone. You don't understand. I hurt everyone in the end and I decided long ago that the best thing was not to get close to anyone, to leave them be. With me in their life the inevitability is that I'm not going to live up to their expectations. I can't do it. I can't do it again, to you." He stopped suddenly and looked at her with the most raw, exposed expression that her heart surged with love for him. "Henrik, I love you. My life was missing something and I didn't realize it until you were there. You don't have to be or do anything. You just have to be you. Whatever has happened in the past has happened, but this is now. I need you. I crave you. I think about you all the time. You make me a better person. I have never been happier. I know your past has been difficult. Mine hasn't been a bed of roses either, but we have each other. I'm yours, Henrik. I can't be anything else, even if I wanted to." She stopped suddenly, realizing that she had said far more than she intended. A harshness came over him, his face the stoic expression she knew from work. "You don't understand. I left someone before, I left her when I knew she was having my child, my son. I thought about them every day for so long, but I knew they'd be better without me. I lost my mother, blamed my father for it and left him too. You don't deserve this. You don't. It's easier not to care." He stopped and stared at her, his brown eyes sparkling with anger. She took a sharp intake of breath and paused before composing herself after his confession and the new knowledge that he had a son. "It's easier to pretend not to care you mean. I know you Henrik. I know how deeply you care so you can pretend all you want. It doesn't fool me. Let it go. We all make mistakes. You think that if you let things go they'll be better off? Well I am telling you I will not be better off. My life has meaning because of you. I love you more than I've ever loved anything. Do not run from me. Let yourself love Henrik. Do you love me?" She was yelling, her voice becoming higher and higher with each word she uttered. She stared at him, realizing that given what he had admitted it was a dangerous question. She was shaking with a mixture of anger and fear. This had to be sorted and sorted now or despite how much she loved him, she knew he would never really be hers.

Henrik looked down at the floor, desperate not to have to answer her question. She continued in a desperate bid to jolt him into some kind of action. "Last night was the single most incredible night of my life. And every minute spent with you since the conference has been incredible. I know you have feelings for me. You deserve happiness no matter what you mistakes you've made in the past. Or are you really determined to keep repeating the same one over and over? You have to start telling people how you feel about them, and tell yourself that you deserve them, or you'll keep losing them." She stopped speaking and he looked up. His expression was miles away and she got the impression that there was someone else he had allowed to walk away because of this same broken outlook he had, and he regretted it, very much. Suddenly, he looked at her with an intense look that gave away nothing of what he was going to say, leaving her anxious. "This is hard for me. Very hard. I understand how the things that have happened to me have made me this way, and I also know that it's completely faulty logic which is ironic really, when you think about how rational and logical I have to be to do my job. I had to tell you those things because otherwise they would continue to haunt me and make me feel that I shouldn't be with you. I have one last confession. There _was_ someone I worked with. At first I was just her mentor, but I knew she was something special. In time she became more to me than a colleague. I fell for her but I felt unable to tell her. I was worried that I wasn't worthy, that I didn't deserve her, and just as she was leaving Holby, I had my chance to tell her but I didn't. I let her walk away. And I'm telling you that because I've decided." She sat, frozen, waiting for the conclusion of his speech. "Decided what, Henrik?" she replied breathlessly, hoping beyond all hope that he said what she wanted to hear. "I've decided that I won't make that mistake again. And that's why I have to tell you. I haven't been as happy in a long time as I have been lately, and I don't want to let you go, or let you have any doubt as to my feelings for you. I love you." He stumbled over those last three words, and she imagined they were difficult for him to say. Her heart swelled with happiness, and tears started down her cheeks. "Then let this be an end to it Henrik. No more running. My heart really can't take it." She fell into his arms, and they sat like that until she finally lost track of time while he caressed her hair and placed gentle kisses on the top of her head. Eventually, as she was nearing sleep, she pulled away from him. "Stay with me Henrik. No running this time. Promise me." She lifted his chin with her hand so that she was staring straight into his eyes, and waited for him to speak. "I promise," he whispered. He started to kiss her gently as she considered how hopelessly in love with him she was, and she hoped that they could save each other and that he would be hers forever.

**A.N.** **This chapter was a little more gentle than the previous one. Sorry the last one was raising blood pressures! I had to decide how explicit I was going to be in describing it, and it was a little racy ha. In this one, I tried to explain his reticence and resolve it somewhat. I can leave this story here, or write a bit more. You can maybe let me know what you think in any reviews you post. Once again, I can't thank you enough for reading and for reviewing. It's the best feeling ever. You guys are amazing. I've been a little bit sad since HH was MIA last week, and probably MIA this coming Tuesday too. Hope he is back in it a lot more soon. Miss him loads. (Disclaimer time. I don't own Holby or anything to do with it. I'm just borrowing Hanssen. I might give him back once I'm done.)**


	19. Chapter 19

**A.N. I am SO sorry this took so long. The previous chapters came to me so easily and then nothing. I wanted to see where I could take them and here it is. I hope it's ok! I also hope you are all well and that we start seeing more of Hanssen in Holby soon. Not enough of him!**

"Oooh, I saw that Dr. Adams. I've never seen Mr Hanssen smile like that at anyone. He likes you." At that she snapped back to reality and stopped gazing at Henrik. He had been speaking to a patient before turning to catch her eye, his eyes twinkling with adoration and he let his professional demenour slip for a moment to actually smile at her. Feeling like a love struck teenager before being brought back to Earth with a thud at Chantelle's words., she silently scolded herself for being so obvious and realizing that if anyone would have noticed, it would be Chantelle. Trying like mad not to blush, she turned to face Chantelle as Henrik went marching off, and tried to remain composed and think of a response that didn't sound like she was protesting too much. Putting on her best attempt at an 'as if' face, she responded, "Chantelle, really! Did you ever think he was just having a good day?" Quick as a flash, Chantelle replied, "Oh yes, I've seen Mr. Hanssen have a good day and he still doesn't smile like that. He definitely likes you! Do you like him? I think he needs some romance in his life; I mean everyone does. You should ask him out!" Smiling from ear to ear, and showing her perfect white teeth, Nicole realized it was impossible to be mad at Chantelle. It was obvious to everyone that there never one ounce of malice in anything that came out of that girl's mouth. She just wanted everyone to be happy and her good heart was the basis behind almost everything she said, and the fact that she was a tremendous nurse. The kind of nurse in fact that the NHS should have as standard. "Well Chantelle, I appreciate the advice, but my career is what makes me happy right now." Content with her response, Chantelle couldn't help herself by saying to her as she walked away, "Well, just keep it in mind! I know he'd say yes!" Shaking her head at Chantelle's irrepressible spirit she skipped off to see the first of her patients that day. Her heart was light and happy as even if she couldn't share it with the world quite yet, she knew that she had made a major breakthrough with Henrik, and it could only be uphill from here…

Finding herself facing a tricky case, she had Michael on her back arguing with her about the best treatment. Her solution was less invasive and the patient would have a shorter recovery time, but she couldn't deny it was more expensive and would be a bit more risky during the operation. Confident in her decision, Michael stormed off and she caught something along the lines of, "Well, we'll see about that." She laughed thinking that Michael was like a toddler, always shouting the odds when he didn't get his way. She carried on thinking nothing more of it, and she was glad that the rest of patients were straightforward to help. Every time she caught Chantelle's eye, she would see Chantelle smile at her in a knowing way, continuing with eye signals their conversation that morning. Nicole smiled back and hoped that at some point she'd become obsessed by someone else's love life. As she made her way to the break room, she was stopped by Malick. His broad build and serious demeanor made her suddenly serious and she wondered what he wanted. "Death Vadar's on the warpath. And he's looking for you. Just thought I'd let you know. I overheard Spence talking to him abut you and he didn't sound happy. Then all I heard was Hanssen saying he'd sort it out." At that Malick smiled and sidestepped her, leaving her bemused and now not feeling like eating the fruit salad she had been so looking forward to moments before. Her stomach turned over at the thought that Hanssen was taking Michael's side before even hearing what she had to say. She had always hated it when people thought the worst of her, especially when she felt it wasn't justified. She had once stood as an F1, along with the other F1's and listened to a very experienced doctor shout at them all as someone had made a basic error with a simple fluids bag and as they all walked away every single one of them walked away not caring one bit, but not her. She had to go back to him to check if it had in fact been her because she couldn't have it on her conscience.

Strolling into the break room, she fell down into the nearest chair and put her head in her hands. Right after her marched in Michael Spence. She heard him before she had time to look up. "Hanssen wants to see you. ASAP." At that point anger replaced the self pity and she stood up and retorted, "And we all know why that is, don't we. What is your problem? You know I'm right. You just don't like it when you don't get your own way." Her face was contorted in anger as Michael replied, "Now look here lady, I've been doing this a long time and I know what I'm doing. I don't like having my judgment overruled. And if you won't listen then damn straight I'm taking right to the top. Explain to Hanssen. I've had enough." Spence stormed out of the break room, leaving her stunned and upset at the anger behind his words. Up until today they had been getting on great. She knew that he had personal issues going on and managed to calm herself down by convincing herself that part of his venom was down to factors that had nothing to do with her. Still, she thought, she had to face Hanssen still. Hanssen who she had just managed to talk round and confess his most personal secrets and then reassure her that they would be together. Hanssen, who was about, it seemed, to mark her professional card by ordering her to perform a surgery Michael's way, and totally overrule her judgment. She was so conflicted that she literally couldn't stand it and made her way to Hanssen's office, shaking all the way.

"Come in." Words she had heard so many times before and had previously made her heart skip a beat and an uncontrollable lurch in her stomach, now made her even more mad. Stony faced, she entered his office, almost slamming the door behind her and marched over to him, stopping short in front of his desk. "Ah, Miss Adams, I've been looking for you," he smiled as he spoke, but it was an insincere smile. One she knew he reserved for dealing with the staff. "I'm well aware of that Mr. Hanssen. I've already had Mr. Spence shouting the odds at me and telling me how you need to see me so you can scold me and tell me you've completely overridden my decision for my patient's care and are allowing Mr. Spence to carry out an inferior version of the surgery." She finished the sentence in breathy tones, since all of the oxygen in her lungs had gone, between the anger, nerves and speed of her words. "Well, I see there's no point in you being here, since Mr. Spence has so diligently managed to do my job for me. At any point did you think it might be an idea to wait and see what I had to say first, or could you not resist ranting and raving?"

Feeling a little foolish as she realized she hadn't even allowed him to speak before launching into her tirade, she managed to save herself by snapping back with, "Well, were you going to say anything remarkably different?" She looked hopefully at him, knowing fine well that the brutal truth was he had favored Michael's approach over hers. He didn't answer verbally, but rather looked down over the top of his glasses at her, before finally reaching to take them off and pinch the top of his nose in his familiar way, as if trying to release some stress. He rested his glasses on his desk, folded his hands, and leaned forward. "Look, this is nothing personal, and the truth is that your solution really is the best one in he majority of cases, but this patient's age leads to the risk factor being higher than you had originally planned for. It was a very difficult choice and could have swung either way. So, really you should realize that Mr. Spence's bluster is just high levels of testosterone running through his system as unusual, and on top of that his ex-wife up to her usual tricks."

He paused and looked at her expectantly, sure of himself that the matter was over and resolved, but she had stopped listening to him somewhere around 'testosterone' and was still mad that the man she loved, and had given everything of herself to, had chosen to implement Spence's strategy over hers, despite admitting to her that she had the better solution. A horrible feeling reared itself within her, one that she thought she had the better of. Ever since her difficult childhood, she had been left proving herself to everyone. When she felt that she was being doubted, every single part of her felt like a failure. She flashed back to the memory of her mentor being angry and self doubt flooded through her, and very quickly turned to anger. "This is NOT OK Hanssen! You know I can do this. I've spent years making sure I know the right answer every time. In one fell swoop, you've taken that away. AND you've admitted that I'm right. How dare you!' Hanssen looked stunned at her outburst and not sure how to respond. As her boss he was ready to check her outspoken behavior, but he held back opting instead to move towards her, stopping in his tracks as she screamed at him, "Stop right there. Don't mess with my career Hanssen. I won't stand for it." At that she turned on her heel and ran out of the room, and towards the fastest exit out of the hospital. She needed to run, calm down and work out her next step.

**More to come as obviously this has to be resolved!**


	20. Chapter 20

She took a long time in he bowels of the hospital calming down and then she realized she had to pull herself together. She had patients to deal with. The self-doubt and anger at Hanssen would have to wait until she was home. She steeled herself and made her way back to the ward and silently prayed that she would manage to avoid Hanssen for the rest of her shift. And Spence for that matter. Luckily for her, the rest of her rounds went smoothly and were both Hanssen free and Spence free. The lovely Nurse Lane was on hand to help and every case resolved itself nicely. She even checked in on the patient that has caused the incident to find that he was doing well. Shift over, she headed to the locker room to find that she had several missed calls from Hanssen. She laughed at the thought and collected her stuff. Driving home she cried, and struggled to drive while wiping tears away. She felt pathetic by the time she got home. This is NOT how an accomplished surgeon behaves, but sometimes her past caught up with her and there was nothing she could do to stop it. Once in, she changed into her comfiest pajamas, dragged her blanket from her bed to the sofa and set up 'Love Actually' fully prepared to wallow in her own misery, when the doorbell went.

Dragging herself up, she walked sloppily to the door and looked through the peephole, only to find the tall, dark handsome Swede waiting at her door, looking pensive and pushing his glasses back up on his nose. He was still in his work suit from earlier so she knew he had driven straight here from Holby. She didn't feel ready to deal with him yet, needing time to wallow in her own self pity but at the same time she didn't want to turn him away either. Slowly, she opened the door and peered round it at him. Her heart lurched a little, reminding her how much in love with him she still was, especially when she saw how uncertain he looked and how far out of his comfort zone he was. "May I come in?" He asked with such doubt in his voice that she couldn't refuse him. Waving her hand so that he knew to step inside, she closed the door behind them both. He stood there awkwardly and she suddenly blushed red at the picture. The movie, the blanket, the fact she was standing in her pajamas, feeling vulnerable and nothing like her usual strong, confident professional self. "Have a seat Henrik," she said, sounding somewhat weary and impatient. Finally, after an awkward silence, Henrik cleared his throat and spoke. "I came here to explain. I know that earlier you took things personally, but you have to understand I have such a delicate balancing job to do. I never meant to undermine you. I think that you are quite fabulous and the most talented surgeon we have had at Holby in a long time. Sometimes though, you have to understand, I have to make decisions based on multiple issues. I am most perturbed that you are so upset. I've come here to see if there's anything I can do to amend things." His face looked full of concern, again melting whatever anger she had from earlier. In spite of this however she knew she had to confront things with him or they would never get past this. "Henrik, I know I was right but because of you I had to face that insufferable man who thinks he was right and you validated him. Do you know how that made me feel? Stupid, that's what. I'm never good enough, never. I just feel useless and pathetic and like I've let everyone down and YOU sanctioned it. I can't take it Henrik. I just can't." The tears came streaming down her face and she couldn't stop them. Henrik looked wounded and he sat there, speechless. She knew that he had difficulty expressing his feelings and that unless she brutally honest he just wouldn't understand. "Henrik, you have to know that because of my shitty childhood I have a persecution complex. I can't bear to think that I've let anyone down. That I've made the wrong call. And to have the man I love basically tell me that I have and have someone else rub it in my face. I just can't take it Henrik. I'd rather leave." She paused for breath and looked at him. She couldn't decipher the look on his face. He was frozen to the spot, not sure what to do or what to say. "Just leave Henrik. Please. Get out." The release of emotion had been much needed and now it was gone she was able to gather herself and her previous angry self came back with a vengeance, not helped by the fact that the man sat in front of her seemed so emotionally crippled that he didn't even realize all he had to do was reassure her, be strong for her and hold her until she calmed down.

Before she knew what was happening, she felt his arms around her. He kissed the top of her head and she let herself fall against his chest. He said nothing and for that she was grateful because she was so full of self pity that nothing he said would have helped. Just being held in his arms was enough. That he was there for her, that he was her strength when she had none. Before she could think anything else, she was asleep in his arms.


	21. Chapter 21

**A.N. Thank you SO much for continuing to read this story. So sorry the chapters are taking so long to wrote at the moment. Here is a new one and I hope it doesn't disappoint.**

Bemused, she rubbed her eyes, and for one moment she had forgotten what had happened in the few hours previous to her falling asleep, and then it hit her like a truck. "Oh God" she said to herself as she sat up. She cursed herself for exposing her true self to him. Up until yesterday, she had hidden all her insecurities from him and presented what she wanted him to see. "He's not going to want me now" she thought. Not now he knows what a mess I am inside. I've blown it. She looked around, remembering that although she was now in her bed, on the crisp white sheets she had just bought, last night she had fallen asleep in his arms on the sofa. He wasn't in the bed with her, and the only crumpled sheets were the ones from the side she had slept on.

Quietly, she crept through to her living room to see if he had left or was still here. Peeking around the living room door, she smiled as she saw him. He had removed his jacket, and rolled up his white shirt sleeves to his elbows, revealing his strong, defined forearms. He still had on his waistcoat, her favorite. He looked so peaceful lying there, and she walked quietly towards where he was sleeping and sat beside him. She watched him for a while, letting herself take him in, and amazing herself at the butterflies in her stomach and surge of fullness in her heart just from watching him. She was lost to him and she knew it. Then came a sinking feeling. A feeling that happened because she was sure that when he woke up, he'd look at her with pity and not love, and feel sorry for her because she's a mess. And then he'd leave. She couldn't believe how just before she met him she thought her life was full and happy, but now sitting here and thinking of him leaving her, her life would be meaningless and empty. How can one person cause that she thought. She was tempted to lean over and place a gentle kiss on his lips to wake him up but she was still worried about what he thought of her now, so instead she headed for the kitchen to make coffee. After setting up the coffee machine, and pressing the button, she enjoyed the sound of it slowly percolating and then the delicious smell of the coffee itself. As she savoured the sensation, she went to the fridge to look out some fruit, and milk to make oatmeal. Suddenly she had the feeling that she was being watched, and as she turned around, there he was. Henrik was there in the doorway, hands in his trouser pockets, leaning casually against the doorframe, smiling as he watched her. She blushed crimson and exclaimed "Henrik, you gave me such a fright. I didn't hear you. How long have you been standing there?" "Oh not long, Nicole. Just a few seconds." Something about his voice made her melt a little and she tried to remain composed and together, not wanting to seem like the pathetic self-pitying person from the previous evening. "Well, I'm just making breakfast Henrik. Would you like to stay and eat? Of course, you don't have to, and I know you might have to get going so please don't feel bad if…" She stopped dead, realizing that she was rambling and once again sounding a little crazy and less than confident. She felt like at any moment he was ready to make his excuses and run as quickly as he could from her and this situation. "Why, I'd love to, thank you Nicole." And with a polite smile, he took a seat at her kitchen table.

After putting the coffee and fruit on the table, she continued making the oatmeal and as she did she was sure she could feel his eyes burning into her back. He was watching her, and the only reason she could come up with was that he was keeping an eye out for more evidence of her craziness. She felt more and more self-conscious as she busied herself around her kitchen, and then finally with the oatmeal ready, she took her place beside him at the table. Being a gentleman, he had waited on her, and proceeded to pour coffee for both of them once she was seated.

For a while they ate and drank in silence, until she could wait no longer. "Henrik, I'm so sorry about yesterday. You must think I'm crazy. I just…have some major self-doubt issues. They have no place in my work I know. I just…I just lost it because you have become so much more important to me than I can even have imagined and I just can't see straight when I feel like you're not on my side and it's irrational and wrong and to be honest I don't know why you haven't left me already and gotten as far away as possible and thanked your lucky stars you didn't get yourself totally bound to me…" She stopped talking and looked him. He had stopped eating and was looking at her earnestly. She wondered how much emotional support he was capable of giving another person given how focused and driven he was, and how stoic he seemed. He seemed to cope best with people who were confident and capable, something she had appeared to be before yesterday.

He took a deep breath and pushed his glasses up on his nose. He reached out his hands to take hers in his. "Nicole, what you don't seem to understand is that I really don't know what to do when I see you sad and upset. The only difference between you and I is that I have to make decisions on behalf of the hospital. When I made that decision yesterday, it wasn't about you and your skill or competence. It was NEVER about you. It was about the hospital. I don't think you realize the hold you have over me. I've never felt the pain I felt when you left my office. I wanted to fix it right away. I want you to be happy. Always. What you don't seem to understand, Nicole, is that I AM yours. You seem to think I can walk away from you. I can't. You awoke a part of me I thought was dead from a long time ago. I need you. I'm not prepared to lose you. I've made that mistake before. So, Miss Adams, how exactly do you feel about that?"


End file.
